Why You Self-Abandon for Love, the Corrective Experience & Carrie’s Bullshit Blueprint — Season 3 wrap with Sabrina Zohar
About This Episode
In this episode of And Just Like That… We Found Therapy, host Isabel MV is joined by entrepreneur, dating coach, host of The Sabrina Zohar Show and author of Why Am I Like This? — Sabrina Zohar — to do something a little different. Rather than unpacking a single episode of Sex and the City, Isabel and Sabrina use Season 3 as a lens to work through the key themes of Sabrina’s book: how our formative years shape the way we date, the core beliefs we carry without knowing it, why we self-abandon for people who will never choose us, and what healing actually looks like in practice.
What We Cover
How our relationship with our primary caregivers shapes the way we love — and the one question Sabrina uses to interrupt the spiral: how old does this make me feel?
Where each of the four girls learned their core belief — and why Carrie’s is the most self-defeating of all
Why self-regulation with ChatGPT is actually outsourcing your validation and not the same thing as regulating at all
Fight, flight, freeze and fawn — applied to the most iconic Season 3 scenes: Carrie’s affair blowing up, Trey fleeing the bedroom, Miranda ripping Carrie apart in a vintage shop
The top five dating myths that are keeping you stuck — and which girl is most victim to each one
Why the dating advice that tells you to act a certain way to get a certain result is just moving chess pieces — and why it never works
Can someone like Mr. Big actually change? What the original Sex and the City writer said he always intended — and why the ending was a lie
Self-abandonment: why Carrie keeps choosing people who can’t meet her instead of the ones who already are
What a corrective experience actually is, how it works, and why Aidan could have been one if Carrie had done the work
Samantha’s confidence is real — but there is an avoidant underneath it, and here is exactly where it shows up
Charlotte’s bullshit blueprint: the fairy tale she is destroying herself to achieve
Miranda’s defence mechanism: why breaking up with Steve is easier than receiving love from him
What healing actually looks like for each of the four girls — Sabrina’s honest, specific prescription for all of them
About Our Guest
Sabrina Zohar is an entrepreneur, dating coach and host of The Sabrina Zohar Show — ranked top 0.05% of all podcasts worldwide. Her debut book Why Am I Like This? is out now worldwide on Amazon and in all bookstores — a step-by-step guide to spotting your dating patterns and breaking them for good. Find her on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube at @SabrinaZohar and listen to the podcast wherever you get your podcasts. All links in the show notes.
Transcript
Welcome back, everyone. I am so excited to bring this week's episode to you guys. This week, I am joined by Sabrina Zohar.
She is a dating coach, she is a podcaster, and she is a little rocket. She is just coming out with her book, Why Am I Like This? The Linguist in the Show notes.
I recommend it to anyone. We did a bit of a mashup between all the topics covered in her book and the Season 3 of Sex and the City. I think there will be a lot of parts of the episode today that resonate with a lot of you.
If anything does, feel free to reach out, but I cannot recommend this book enough.
I've read a lot of books about dating and how to come out of certain patterns and I feel like this book does a very, very good job of doing a step-by-step where it not only teaches you how to get out of them, but also it makes you feel seen and
support it throughout. Anyway, I'll leave you guys to it. I hope you guys enjoy it. I love you all.
Bye. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of On Just Like That We Found Therapy. I am your host, Isabem V and I am so excited to be joined today by Sabrina Zohar.
She is an entrepreneur and dating coach and host of the podcast, The Sabrina Show. Ranked top 0.05% of all podcasts. Welcome, Sabrina. How are you?
I'm well, thank you.
So the podcast is actually The Sabrina Zohar Show, but I'm excited to be here.
Most recently, Sabrina has taken her ambitions, pen to paper, becoming the author of Why Am I Like This? A book on how to spot your patterns and break them up so that you can make the most out of your love life out now.
You can check the link of the show notes. But today, Sabrina is joining me to do a recap of Season 3 of Sex and the City. And since your book is such a great step by step guide of entangling this mess, I'm super excited to dive into this with you.
Me too.
It's so funny.
Whenever I think of Sex and the City in the characters and who everybody plays, I always chuckle at how the ending of Sex and the City was, which we could definitely talk about, like how the entire show ended and how actually they wanted it to end
the other way. And instead we landed where we were. So I think it'll be an interesting conversation, especially about the things that we were taught along the way, especially by culture and society on how things should go.
Absolutely. Can I ask you, did you ever identify as one of them?
I was an amalgamation of Samantha and Carrie. So it was like I was the outspoken fashionista that loved what she did and was dating all the time.
But then I was a bed hopper, very similarly to Samantha, where I just, I thought sleeping my way through Manhattan was how I was going to find my partner. And I learned after quite a few years of that, that that's not it.
Well, I have to say, your book opens with this younger Sabrina spiraling, sending a bunch of texts. And I did see very clearly a Carrie had, she had a cell phone with a free data plan.
I feel so seen.
Yeah. But as a quick recap, in Season 3 is right after Carrie is heartbroken because Big has married Natasha and she meets Aidan. And then she starts the affair with Mr.
Big. And that all blows up in her face. Charlotte meets Trey, marries him in a record time.
They have a lot of issues in bed. Miranda breaks up with Steve for the second time. And Samantha is just being Samantha, being a bed hopper and, you know, bringing the comedy that the show needs.
But I love that your book kind of breaks up very simply, but also very honestly, how to start from the beginning. And I, as much as I've done this podcast, I've learned that you got to go back and learn what it started.
You cannot, you cannot start now and be like, Oh, this will be easy.
So obviously, we don't know the background of the girls, but in that first chapter of your book, you do talk a lot about how our formative years maybe shape the way that we date, and also how our relationship with our primary care takers also shape
the way that we relate to our partners and build relationships. So even though we don't have information about the girls' past, I love the fact that you keep coming back to this question, which is, how old did that make you feel?
And I'd love my listeners to grab on to that question, because I do think that sometimes it's a great way to interrupt the spiral. How do you think that it's best to use that tool?
I think when we start to get curious about how old do we feel, really the reason we're doing that is because we want to understand, is this an issue that's happening right now, or is this a reaction from a place in the past, also called transference?
Do we go back to feeling like we're a kid and feeling like I'm dealing with my mom, my dad, my caregiver, a teacher? It could be an amalgamation of different things.
But really, the reason we're also looking at that is because if we ask, how old do I feel when this situation happens, then the next question I want to follow up is, okay, well, where did I learn this from?
Because if I'm feeling like a six-year-old, I want to then understand, well, where did I learn this behavior? My mom did this, my dad did this, my sister, my brother, whatever it is. It's not about shaming or blaming.
I think that's the misconception so many of us have with healing, is that we should blame our parents and shame them for what we did, and what they did, and how we grew up.
Really, the main reason we do this is so that we can free ourselves, because when you actually see the wound, you attend to it, you help it, and you heal it, then you don't have to keep tripping over it, over and over and over again.
I think of it as like you're giving yourself surgery on a gash in your arm, you just kept putting a bandaid on it for so many years.
Inevitably, it gets so deep that if you don't tend to where it actually started, it's going to then take over everything else. At that point, it becomes very difficult to get a hold of it.
Yeah, I agree. But this chapter ties so well with the next chapter, where you talk about building core beliefs. I think you do such a good way of bridging the two chapters to see, this is actually why it matters to go back to step number one.
I think every woman that will read this book will relate massively to the way that we tell our truths to ourselves, but it's just the core beliefs that we get told from when we're tiny. You summarize the most common stereotypes of the female dater.
I relate it really hard to some of them, but I wonder where do you place the girls and why into these different stereotypical daters?
It's funny. I would say, I was thinking about that.
I would say Carrie probably learned somewhere along the way that she has to earn love, that who she is, she has this confidence, this air about her, that she has her fashion and her moments and she's a writer and she's so articulate with her words,
but yet there's this insecurity because look what she allows. She has the healthy man, she has Aidan, she has the person that every girl would give anything for, this tall dark drink of like handsome drink of water that's a furniture built, oh my
god, please are you kidding? We all want one, but then she always goes for the unattainable, the person that can never actually satisfy her needs.
And so somewhere along the way, she learned like love has to be earned because there's obviously an I'm not worthy core belief because if there wasn't she'd be able to receive people like Aidan instead of trying to push them away.
Miranda, she's a tough nut because she's just so rigid that you have to wonder where she lost the need of control because she's always in control of everything, right? She has to control how everybody is and then this and then this.
She's the one that's not as fun, right? The lawyer that's more stuck up. And so for her, which she and Charlotte share that, right?
Charlotte has to be the perfectionist, right? Everything has to look perfect and be good and we all because I would say Miranda probably came from a household where she had to argue to be heard, right? She had to prove her point.
She had to explain to somebody, like, I'm not worthy. I'm not deserving of this until you hear me out. Whereas I think Charlotte learned, like, be a good girl, play nice.
Don't let other people see you. And we have to make everything look good, right? Those family units that come from where we don't talk about emotions and feelings.
We don't share about anything that's going on. We smile and we all take a photo when we move on because there's a fear of I'm gonna fail. Like I'm not enough.
I have to always be proving. And then Samantha, she's that amalgamation, right? She is an empowering woman.
Now that I start to see her character as an adult, I start to see her in a different light. I think for a long time I used to think, oh, she's so insecure until I realized like, but she was actually so secure in herself.
She had no problem exploring men and she would leave, right? I love you Richard, but I love me more. She realized even though she might have gone through an experience that she still had to pick herself.
And so I think she could have an amalgamation like everybody else of like, I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy. I have to earn it.
I have to prove myself. But I do think that there is an air of confidence that she has in saying, this is what I want. This is what I deserve and I'm going to go get it.
And if not, I'm going to walk away like she did so many times.
Yeah.
I think there was also about Charlotte in the season because for so long she was so scared and walking around next shows with Trey and you talk about I'm responsible for everyone's feelings and I thought she did a lot of that with Trey that it was
like, oh no, I'll take it because you're obviously not man enough and like I will, it's on me to make you feel better about your penis not working.
100%.
Like that I have to be responsible for everybody else because that's that need for control. If I am, then I can change it. I can do it.
I can make sure that it goes in the way that I want it to go.
And it's so interesting too because you start to see the behavior manifest in different ways because I won't ruin it in other seasons, what Charlotte does, but we start to see just every way, the way it shows up, even like how she, when she finds out
that Carrie is cheating and she like bumps into her and there's that moment of just the kind of judgment that she has, but we don't talk about it because she has to keep it together because if anybody sees a chink in the armor, you never know what
will happen.
Yeah.
10:50
Triggers and Self-Regulation
I love that. Okay. Then in the book, you go on to talk about triggers because you do say that your body keeps receipts and I do truly believe that.
And I have a lot of questions here about this because for starters, I do think that society, but especially Hollywood and every script of a rom-com has taught me at least that the chaotic, neurotic, hysterical borderline woman gets the guy.
We are allowed to do that, but now there's a lot of talk around self-regulation. And my first question to you is, do you think that the current generations are better at self-regulating before reacting or not at all?
Not at all. I would say I think specifically, I think younger gen X into millennials, I think millennials have really taken this on of like, no, no, no, no, no.
For a long time, we were taught, especially by that boomer generation, I'm going to give my kids what I didn't have was giving them money, or not having them struggle, or making sure that they always just had everything that they needed.
Whereas I think then the millennial generation has realized giving our kids what we didn't have is feeling safe and secure, feeling seen, feeling empowered, that you can do what it is that you need.
But I think in general, we are getting further from being able to show emotional regulation because of also technology. Cell phones have created this inability to sit in any kind of discomfort.
It becomes a lot more difficult when you don't get your needs met when you want the right. It's Amazon. Everything comes to your door.
When you order it, it's there. If you don't like it, you send it right back. You don't even have to think about it.
You can go on a dating app and meet a thousand people right now all across the world that you would never have met because there's this access.
We've never had more access to information than we do in this present moment, but yet I also then feel like we know so little.
I would say, I think it's only the ability to sit in discomfort is what's going to change your life because life is really hard and life is really uncomfortable.
If everything causes our window of tolerance to expand, which I talk about that in the book too, like having a window of tolerance is your capacity to handle things when it's going up and down and up and down.
It makes it a lot more difficult to stay present because all you're doing is focusing on putting out a fire or finding enough energy to be able to get through your day, but you're not actually present.
Yeah. That is so interesting though, because I don't know if this is a red flag about me, but ChatGPT is a key to me self-regulating before I burn anybody's house, burn a bridge, okay.
So the reason being, the reason that that becomes very dangerous is because an external source is telling you one, either what to do, how to do it.
Chat GPT is prompt driven, which means that depending on how you say it, how you ask it, have you ever noticed that if chat says something and then you go, no way, that's bullshit, it'll be like, you're right, I should have seen it this way.
Because the point of it is it keeps you in these cycles and these loops, and then what happens is if that's your regulation, well, then we don't actually have it.
That's just outsourcing validation so that you have the perception of being regulated because you get an answer. True regulation is saying, I'm back in this present moment, I want to see it for what it is, not for what I believed it was.
I want to challenge the experiences and true regulation means I can make a choice now instead of outsourcing the choice. And listen, do I understand why AI is so popular? Of course, it doesn't judge you.
It's there for you morning, noon and night. It's always available. It tells you oftentimes what you want to hear necessarily more than what you don't.
And listen, have I seen AI come back and be like, absolutely not. I'm not going to let you think that. You're like, okay, cool.
Thanks. But on the aggregate, it's a lot more difficult to regulate because we need co-regulation, if that's part of it, their self-regulation and co-regulation.
If we're going to consistently self-regulate with technology, well, then we're not actually able to do that with other people, which is a way our nervous system has a corrective experience. So that is me playing devil's advocate.
You can do whatever feels like it aligns to you, but it's more so that we're also seeing how ChatGPT in general, just in life, using it so often is shrinking our prefrontal cortex because we're not activating decision making and common sense, and
we're staying on these loops more than we are because then we're going right into that lizard brain and we're just going along with the motions. But you don't have your own thoughts sometimes.
Not you, but you know what I'm saying, the proverbial you.
No, no, no. This is so interesting. So I'm putting that in the maybe red flag box and I don't know.
I'll talk about it to ChatGTP later.
But I want to ask you, I want to do a flash round because you introduced the concept of fight, flight, freeze and fawn. And there's so many scenes in this season where there's a lot of that.
So I picked a few and I want you to comment on them, which one it is. So when Carrie starts dating Aidan and then she gets the hydraulic from him because he's super available to her.
That is more probably the flight. You're finding a reason to run away because it feels overwhelming.
Okay. Trey reacting to Charlotte pulling the hydraulics for his penis while in the bedroom.
Was that where he like goes, he gets like irate?
Just like Charlotte, what is that? I don't want to talk about that. I'm going for a run.
That's flight.
That's flight at its finest of just like, got to go. This makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to deal with this.
I thought he froze.
He was just like, he couldn't even say it.
Well, but the thing with flight, you also can freeze, right? That's the thing. You can have amalgamations because when you freeze, freezing would have been him going, yeah, and then just probably not having, but him going, I'm going for a run.
That's his being like, cannot handle this. I have to go.
And that's literally like, I got to run away. Okay. I don't know if you remember this, but Miranda and Carrie have a massive fight at a secondhand store.
When Carrie tells Miranda, I can meet you for lunch, whatever, because I'm going for lunch with Mr. Big. And then Miranda rips her a new one and she's like, I can't believe that you're going back for more.
You're so pathetic. You turn into this little girl, blah, blah, blah. And Carrie tries to fight her, but she just then calls her from a bush and is like, do you really think I'm pathetic?
To me, that feels like almost fawning.
Where like she, well, she has the fight reaction, right? She goes outwards, but then she collapses in shame and is like, wait a minute. Is that what you actually think of me?
That could also even be her fight reactor. And then her regulating and coming back to the present moment to then be able to go, oh shit, is that how my friend sees me? So it is also, we have different, right?
That's the thing with our nervous system responses is it depends on how we perceive the threat in the moment and then how our body feels like it should handle it. It's fascinating.
Yeah. Okay. I don't know if you remember this, but when Carrie then meets Big at the boathouse, and I think Miranda's parting words on the phone to her are like, just don't let him miss you because that's when you get in trouble.
And they're by the dock. He goes to kiss her and they fall in the pond.
That seems more like probably a freeze response. Like she doesn't know what to do. So she just moves out of the way and then he comes in.
And that's where freeze responses are funny because you just don't you you're mobile. You don't know what to do. So you just make a move without really thinking about it.
Okay.
And then finally, when Natasha busts Carrie in their apartment and Carrie goes running down the stairs and she's like, I can see you and runs after her.
That is definitely flight because important, Natasha, she's in fight, right? She's coming. She's going to find him and she hurts herself.
And Carrie is just booking it, right? She just probably froze them and she heard it and then that's it, right? We think about it as like all of these these threats that we're seeing, they're all like imaginary tigers.
So we think about if a tiger came, am I going to fight it? Am I going to freeze and just don't know what to do? Am I going to fawn and try to make it like me?
Or am I going to run the fuck away from it because I don't want it to catch me? That's how we even start to notice their behaviors of, oh, okay, that looks like this.
Yeah. Okay. That was the end of the flash run.
Thank you so much, Sabrina.
But speaking of running, you have one chapter that is called You Can Run, You Can't Hide, and I love that because in Season 3 is when literally Carrie flies into LA with all her girl pals after the affair blows up in her face and Aidan breaks up with
her before Charlotte's wedding. You talk a lot about self abandoning that I don't think people talk enough about in dating because a lot of the dating podcasts that I've seen out there are a lot about how to get the guy and bend over backwards to do
whatever it takes to get the one guy. So I really loved this chapter and you really talk a lot about the top five dating stories, including my personal nemesis. If they wanted to, they would.
What do you think which one of the girls is victim to in this season maybe that you remember through the show of this dating top stories or stereotypes?
I would say they all kind of have their flavor, right? So I think, and I'm with you, I think there's a lot of the dating advice that's out there is just not actually helping you.
It's very much like, do this to get this, act like this to get them to act like that. And it's just a very, like you feel like you're constantly moving a chess piece around because you have to play this game.
But I think, I think Miranda is more into the like, well, if he wanted to, he would type of mentality. It's just very black and white. It's like, this is what it is.
I think Charlotte is when you know, you know, right? It's going to be easy and it's going to be a fairy tale and it's the Disney romcom. And there's that.
I think, I think Samantha is a little bit more of, I think Samantha could have if he wanted to, he would as well. Or like just that very blunt and direct of just like, I'm not going to be doing this behavior.
And I think Carrie to me is just, she's that amalgamation of doesn't want to lose hope. She really wants to believe people can change because if she can change them or get them to love her. Boy, do I know it.
That's why I can relate to her. Of just running around New York City, just trying to get someone to see you for who you are, but all the while completely losing yourself and people that you know aren't right for you.
I remember that one season, I don't remember, it must have been earlier because it was an older one, where Carrie dates the guy and then finds out he's bisexual, and she's at the party and they're scooting around. I remember watching that. Was it?
I couldn't remember exactly. But I remember watching that and being like, wait a minute, you know that that's not what you want. You know that this is what Alanis Morissette, it's like you know that that was not the dynamic.
Eventually, she walks away, but like she knew he was kind of a man child and like he was, I remember he was just like immature and she just like wasn't sure what was going on with this guy.
Those are those moments of self abandoning or like later seasons when we have other characters. Big, right? That's the epitome of self abandoning because she so badly wants to believe, this is what's going to heal me.
This is going to say, I just need to get them. But what she hasn't realized is because she's completely self abandoning in her life to try to be chosen.
Yeah. I have one question though.
Do you think, because the thing with Carrie is like, do you think that is absolute bullshit that somebody like Big, where you've taught this man of your Carrie that I can self abandon in order to make us work, do you think that it is possible to get
them to become what Mr. Big becomes in the show?
No. And the reason I say that is because that exact, what you just described was what the writer said he never intended it to be.
And so, that's the interesting part is I watched something on the writer of Sex and the City and how he wanted to end the series and that's not it. He said that's not his character. This isn't who he is.
But he had to do it to make it a happy ending. But he was not going to have Big change because realistically he never would have. Big is a narcissist.
He only thinks that he believes that his reality is the only one. But for the movies and TV, it makes it sound so lovely that they can change. Realistically, rarely do they.
Otherwise, most of us wouldn't be here.
I blame him. Yeah.
I blame both of them, honestly. I think she plays such a major part in allowing this shit. I get it.
It's so easy to say. It's like, but they both played a part in this dynamic. I think to me, they blame the biter.
I blame the biter for my love life.
I thought you meant big.
I couldn't agree more. You're 100% right. I thought you meant big.
I was like, no, I mean, listen, I think she played a part. Oh, 100% with you. The writer, Disney lied to us, right?
Like, totally. They told us that a might and shining armor was going to come get me and that I could fall asleep and someone come kiss me and wake me up and whisk me away. That never happened.
The one, right? These are these myths that we believed because it helped us to get through the times that didn't feel like we could believe in much. But they ruined our relationships and our dating life.
Totally.
I mean, I'm still here trying to look for a Mr. Big that is like Aidan.
I was going to say, I would just love Aidan. He's a cutie.
Yeah. It's just a turquoise jewelry at the beginning didn't do it for me. But, okay, do you think, and one follow up question on this, do you think that Samantha is also maybe the one that avoids hard conversations?
Yes, I think to a certain extent, 100%.
That's where I was like, she has a confidence in an air, but there is an insecurity there, right? She's more that avoided, right? The more male figure that we see.
We see it on the other side. We see the guy that's the playboy, that feelings, no, no, we're not going to talk about that. We're just going to use our bodies and do what we need.
I think it's empowering for a woman to feel that great. I think having that confidence is beautiful. But where it becomes really, really beautiful is when they also have the vulnerability to match it.
I think 100% that she has an avoid inside. That's I think why so many people watch that and we're like, well, how does she do that? How can she just sleep with this many people and not get attached and not feel anything and just walk away?
It's like because she's probably a bit detached from herself as well.
Yeah.
Okay. And finally, you have this beautiful way to close the book, What Healing Actually Looks Like.
And this is where I would like to turn advice to the girls because you talk a lot about the bullshit blueprint, how to spot it, how to break it, and how to fix it.
So I would love to ask you, what do you think is a bullshit blueprint of the girls, roughly in the season, and how do you think they can, you would advise them to work it out?
I think for Carrie, it's the self-abandonment piece that she learned somewhere along the lines that she can't be herself to authentically receive love. And so I think for her, it would be making really uncomfortable choices.
It would be walking away from things and people that don't align like Big and receiving love from someone like Aidan and really working through the core beliefs of I'm not worthy and I'm not good enough, and realizing that she always has been, she
just wasn't allowing somebody to truly love her the way she deserves. I think Samantha is that she needs to face the scary emotions and feelings that she's running away from and hiding behind, you know, bed hopping and doing that.
Because like I said, there's an empowering point to it when you're finding yourself. But eventually, once you have and you decide that this is a relationship and this is something you want, I mean, even think about Richard.
He was the idea of what she wanted, but he wasn't actually the person that she needed. Most of these guys aren't, because I don't think she needs, she knows what she needs herself.
And so I think if she can actually be with herself and not distract with work or with men, I think she would be able to get a lot further and actually find somebody that has what it is that she genuinely needs.
I think Charlotte is scared to take up space. I'm proud of her, what she did with Bunny, and I think that that's great and she learned that. But I think she had this idealistic view.
And I think for her, it's about understanding, where did you learn that life is a fairy tale and that you have to have this happily ever after at no matter what the cost.
Because she is doing everything she can to get Prince Charming all the while realizing she's losing herself along the way trying to make something work that just doesn't. And then I think with Miranda, breaking up with Steve is her defense mechanism.
Because Steve is a good guy, he cares about her, he wants to be with her, he loves her and Steve and Aidan are very similar. And I think Miranda and Carrie are very similar, and that's why they can't stand each other sometimes.
And that's why they get volatiles because I think that Miranda sees in her and Carrie a lot of herself and probably wishes that she had somebody that she could have these rendezvous with, but she's Steve.
And so I think for her, it's really looking at where did you learn that receiving love is scary, that being vulnerable makes you weak, that having strength means you need to be hard and block people out, and then how can we learn to soften that and
actually be able to receive the love that you deserve?
Okay, I have one follow up question for my girl Carrie, as I'm going to carry through and through.
Do you actually think that she could have healed from learning how to receive love from Aidan?
If she did the work, he would have been something called a corrective experience, 100%. Corrective experiences are how our nervous system learns. So like when I met my partner, he was a much healthier version than I'd ever met.
He had his issues, don't get me wrong, like we all have our shit, but he wanted to give me love and I struggled to receive it. I didn't cheat on him, I didn't do what she did. But for a lot of us, that can feel overwhelming.
If you're doing the work, then of course you learn to receive and you're like, oh shit, okay, so this is what it's supposed to feel like, as opposed to you have to be healed in order to receive that.
Okay, so a corrective experience.
Corrective experience.
That sounds a little like a stepping stone, but here it can also be an end game.
100 percent. A corrective experience could be that, in the book, I talk about friendships that really hurt me and the big friendship that broke my heart.
Now I'm having corrective experiences by having girlfriends that show up for me differently, by having women that support me in different ways that don't leave me.
That's corrective to my nervous system going, oh, right, this is what it should feel like and this is what I deserve, and this is what I've always wanted.
If we are welcoming to that, lovely, but if we haven't really healed those wounds, it's going to be really difficult to be.
Yeah. All right. Well, that was it, Sabrina.
This was a breeze. Thank you so much. I would love for you to also tell my listeners where they can find you.
Well, thank you for having me.
You can get Why Am I Like This Worldwide on Amazon or any of your local bookstores. You can listen to The Sabrina Zohar Show on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, anywhere podcasts are found. You can find me on TikTok and Instagram and YouTube at SabrinaZohar.
You could just type my name and something of mine will come up.
Thank you so much, Sabrina. I will plug the book of the show notes. I think it's great.
I'm going to gift it to a bunch of my girlfriends, single ones, married ones, ones that are married but don't want to be. But thank you so much. It was an amazing read and I love the fact that you dedicated to Little Sab.
I think that speaks a lot of the journey that you invite us to go into.
Thank you for having me. I'm so excited for you guys to read it.
Thank you, Sabrina. We'll talk to you soon.
Thanks, Isabel. Ciao. Bye.
Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of And Just Like That, We Found Therapy.
If you loved it, follow the podcast, leave a five-star review and send this episode to somebody who needs it. It really helps the show. Don't forget about our new segment this season, He's Not Your Mr.
Big. If you have a love dilemma you want answered by one of our in-house experts, you can now submit directly through the form of my website. The link is in the show notes.
Or if you prefer to keep it personal, slide into my DMs on Instagram at wefoundtherapypod. See you at our next therapy session. I love y'all.
Bye!
