Tantric Sex, Sober Sex & Why You Need to Stop Performing in Bed — S2E16 with Alejandra Welsh Peña, Intimacy Coach
About This Episode
In this episode of And Just Like That… We Found Therapy, host Isabel MV welcomes back intimacy coach and founder of The Fifth House, Alejandra Welsh Peña, to unpack Sex and the City's "Was It Good For You Too?" It's the episode where Charlotte's surgeon boyfriend falls asleep mid-sex, Carrie finally kisses a man who's been on four dates with her without making a move — because he's never had sober sex — Samantha attempts a threesome with two gay men and ends up getting gelato instead, and Miranda decides to upgrade her bed linen to improve her sex life.
What We Cover
Why women becoming disconnected from their own bodies leads to disconnect in the bedroom — and how to fix it
What Tantric Sex actually is (hint: it's not just about endurance), who it's for, and where to start
The body mapping practice that helps couples reconnect without the pressure of penetration
Performance anxiety in men: why they'll go on four dates before making a move and how communication fixes it
Samantha's threesome with two gay men — what went wrong and why safe words and pre-sex conversations are non-negotiable
How to create a sex space or "sacred temple" at home and why it actually changes your sex life
Why flirting with the world — not just potential partners — is the fastest way to become more magnetic
Miranda's bed upgrade: love the idea, but self-love can't be an excuse to never leave the house
Carrie's approach to the non-kissing dater: 10 out of 10 for staying in her power and going for it
Taking sex off the table in relationships to rebuild desire and connection
About Our Guest
Alejandra Welsh Peña is the founder of The Fifth House, an intimacy and relationship coaching practice working with men and couples on confidence, pleasure and deep connection. She has just launched The Night We Met — an invite-only, lightly curated social experience for singles in European cities, with events in Ibiza and Lisbon in October. She also runs The Pleasure Code, a six-week programme for men on sexual expression and masculinity. Find her on Instagram or visit The Fifth House — all links in the show notes.
Transcript
Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of And Just Like That We Found Therapy. I am here today with another repeat guest, Alejandra Welsh Peña. Welcome back, Alejandra.
Hi. How are you doing today? Where are you joining today from?
Today, I'm joining from my home in Ibiza in Spain.
I'm very jealous.
We are in the outs of like a heat wave in London, but it's been tremendously hot and uncomfortable.
Yeah, I can imagine.
Yes. And Alejandra is here today to discuss with us season two, episode 16 of Sex and the City. Was it good for you too?
And I am so grateful that you are here to do this one with us because I remember when I first watched this episode, I was like, whoa, like Sex and the City is like finally sex. Like there was a lot.
Yeah, it's true. This was a good episode. Yeah.
And it's also so funny.
Yeah. But basically, we get introduced to this episode to Charlotte's new boyfriend. They are having sex and he is a very good orthopedic surgeon and he works very, very hard.
So basically, in the middle of having sex with Charlotte, he falls asleep and Charlotte freaks out. So my first question to you is, have you ever had that to any of your friends or clients?
I've never... You mean that somebody falls asleep from exhaustion? I've never had that happen to me personally.
I've never heard of anyone do that either. I personally have done it.
So you've fallen asleep?
One time I remember doing that a long time ago.
But for you and Samantha, it wasn't deludes. It was just like pure exhaustion.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.
Did the guy take it as hard and as personally as Charlotte took it with this guy?
If he did, he definitely didn't let me know about it. But I've never done it since. I just learned like if you're tired, don't do it.
Don't do it.
It's just so disheartening because I understand that sometimes when you're in a very long term relationship, sometimes you do have to like check that for your partner. But like here is a brand new relationship.
And like Charlotte was basically in the next scene crying to Carrie being like, I'm just bad in bed. Has that ever happened to you? And Carrie's like, no, it's never happened to me.
But I'm sure many men wanted to fall asleep with me. And then Carrie's telling Samantha and Samantha's like, well, no wonder. Have you seen that girl in the Stairmaster?
Nothing goes on from below the waist. Do you think that that is like a good rule of thumb? Do you think that some people do the starfish so much that they're at risk of maybe having their sex partner falling asleep on them?
I mean, that's pretty harsh.
I hope no partner, actually, like brand new partner, actually falls asleep with you, even if you are starfishing. But yeah, also the comment about the Stairmaster thing, Ouch.
Totally. Like these are best friends. But I know that you mostly work with men, but have you ever had any women come to you being like, I feel lesser than in the bedroom, I'm desperate for some pointers.
Have you had that or maybe men?
Yes, to both. Well, I would say like with women, it's rather than like not feeling up to par. It's more than they know that there's more to pleasure than what they're able to access or what they're currently experiencing.
And that could be for many reasons, like maybe they've never given themselves permission to access pleasure due to like sex negative conditioning or whatever brought them up.
And so maybe they don't feel so open or maybe they were the partner that's never allowed them to surrender or feel safe. Or maybe they're just shy and they don't know their body that well.
So really what women come to me is rather than like, I feel like I'm not up to par with how men are. It's more like I don't feel so feminine or I want to access like multiple orgasms or I even want to have orgasms because some women don't.
So that's more like from the women's side of view. And so really what I work with women is to get them into their feminine because that's usually where the disconnection happens.
And it all happens in the bedroom with your own pleasure practice because if you're disconnected from your sexuality and you don't know what's going on down there, it's hard to feel comfortable and confident in the bedroom of a man.
The reverse is also true if you're disconnected to your pussy and your sexual power, you're also going to be disconnected to your femininity in other parts of your world, like dating or maybe you lack sisterhood or I don't know how it shows up.
Because I think that this would totally apply to Charlotte.
She hasn't maybe done her homework of spending some time exploring herself, seeing what it is that she likes, and then I can see how that may lead to a disconnect in the bedroom with your sex partner.
Yeah, definitely. Maybe not to the point where this person is falling asleep, but yeah, I get the comment of like, have you seen her on the Stairmaster? It's probably because she doesn't have any access to her pleasure or to her sexuality.
As soon as something like this happens, she makes it mean everything about her rather than being confident and like, no, I am a fucking good lover and I know it because I can turn myself on and I feel feminine and sexy.
So yeah, that's why the disconnect is coming.
Okay. And then this conversation between Samantha and Carrie is everything to me because Samantha is saying, I think they're having a discussion on how we know if we're good and better or not.
And Samantha is just like, well, nobody has falling asleep what inside of me. And like I get affirmation about how good I am all the time. Just the other week, these two gay guys asked me to go on a threesome with them.
And then Carrie, of course, like she comes out the Woodworks judging and she's like, what? Like they're gay. Like, what are you going to do?
And Samantha is saying like, oh, come on for a sex columnist, you're like so conservative. Like at the end, this is 2000. At the end of like in a couple of years, nobody's going to care about whether you're gay or straight.
You're going to care about the individual and we're all going to be pansexual is everything that's going to matter is whether or not we're good in bed.
In your line of work, have you seen this pan out the way that Samantha was talking about it with Carey?
Like the spectrum of sexuality and how-
Yes, and maybe especially when we are talking about pleasure and people exploring what really gets them off, people have put a lot more things on the menu versus 2000.
Yeah, I actually when she said that, I was like, wow, I'm impressed with what you're saying, especially for an episode coming out in 2000. Because yeah, I agree, like there is a lot more to sex, especially heterosexual sex than just penis and vagina.
When you're able to break down what sex actually means for you, and who having experiences with and what turns you on, you kind of remove or move away from just penis and vagina sex.
And then all of a sudden, like your world of sexuality opens up and it's explored much more dramatically. I mean, having said that, though, who you're attracted to is also a big part of it. So, you know, you could be the best lover.
But if you don't really want to have sex with a woman or you don't really want to have sex with a man, you could try it. It's fun in the exploration. You learn a lot, especially when you reverse roles and, like, kink play and stuff.
But ultimately, if you're not interested or you're not attracted and it's not your flavor, it's not going to work out.
Yeah. Because I love that Samantha's storyline in this episode is very much about exploring how free she can be with her sex life for the pure end goal of having pleasure. Yeah.
But after Carrie says goodbye to Samantha, she's walking around West Village and this guy is smoking outside of some restaurant and like tosses a cigarette and burns Carrie and Carrie is like a big baby about it.
But they have a very cute meet cute scene.
And because I follow your social media and I know a lot of my guy friends do too and they really like the tips that you have on how to meet women, how to make sure that they do or are the man that does the first step and like makes them feel feminine
because they are in the masculine and all that. What do you think about this meet cute? I love it.
Yeah, I think it's really cute. I love Carrie's approach to it. She seems really confident and I love it because you can almost see her go from annoyed to the situation.
And then Carrie's really good at being very soft and feminine and flirtier. And you can just see her eyes kind of shift and change into, oh, this guy's cute. Like, let's see what happens.
She's bold, she's open hearted. And then I think by the end of the conversation, she walks away and then runs back and gets his number, right?
Yeah, she actually, there's a lot of him that is into her. And I think he says, you're great. And then she takes a compliment, walks away.
And I think she's probably used to men asking the number. But because he doesn't, she turns around and gives him her number.
And fast to the next scene where she is with Miranda complaining about the fact that it's been three days and he hasn't called. So here, do you think that it's fair for her to take it as a rejection as much as she did?
And what do you think of maybe some women that do take the laid back approach because the less chances you take, the less rejection you suffer?
So, yeah, it's definitely safer to not make moves or just be passive and receive. That is definitely the safer way to play it, but it's going to completely minimize your chances of meeting your person or getting dates.
The people that are lucky and successful in love and dating, they're the ones who don't take rejection personally from a total stranger. They also are the ones who, even if it is a mini rejection or micro rejection, they can bounce back quickly.
They stay open hearted. You know, you don't let it mean anything about you because let's face it, the stranger actually doesn't know anything about you. So what are they really judging you on?
Women or men even who like minimize their chances of putting themselves out there. Whilst it is safe, it's not really going to do you any favors.
So, yeah, you really want to be in a perspective of, I'm excited about meeting people, making new connections, human interactions. Maybe this person is going to become a friend. Just like be excited with the world.
My number one tip for everyone is like flirt with the world. Flirt with the barista, flirt with your friends, flirt with men, women, like everyone, because you're going to see, you know, attraction attracts attraction a lot.
I agree. And I take that to heart. I think I flirt with everybody.
I even flirt with my girlfriends.
And we love it.
Yeah, there's something that Miranda says that really struck me. One of the many, many times that I've rewatched the show when Carrie's talking about Patrick not calling her. And Miranda's like, oh, it's amazing.
As a woman, we struggle so much to get to a point where we're very happy with ourselves and we can feel so good about ourselves. But if a guy doesn't mirror it, everything goes out the window.
Do you think we still experience that, even though I think the narrative has changed a lot about dating and maybe women are not so much for being chosen anymore. But I do feel like I do sometimes sin on that.
No, when she said that line, I was like, mic drop. Yeah, we definitely all experience that, men and women, like 10 years ago, 15 years ago, present day.
Because when we are dating, we're literally putting all of ourselves out there in the most vulnerable way possible. And first and foremost, our appearance.
So if somebody rejects us, it's kind of like we take it as a direct rejection of what we look like, or the vibe that we're giving off, or how we're perceived. And so that can be like a really daunting and horrible feeling. So it's very natural to...
Like to her point, we build, we take so much care and pride in like really building and working on our self-confidence.
The second, like a person of the opposite sex decides they don't want you, it can take, like crumble everything that you've just been building and working on. So it's our responsibility to really be in touch with ourselves.
And just remember that these people are strangers, like they are not actually rejecting us, and we cannot fixate on us being the problem.
I love that. Okay, and what do you think about Miranda's theory of if she gets her bed to be a lot more bougie and she puts a lot more effort into it looking nice and feeling nice, that'll change her bed karma?
I love this concept. I think it's fucking cool. And I even talked to my clients about it, especially my couple clients.
It's so important for you to create like a sex space or a sex temple in your home, wherever it might be, whether it's like your bedroom or your bathroom, if you're lucky enough to have like an extra room, maybe like devoted to that, or even as small
as like laying a blanket or a towel on your bed before you have sex. Or you can even create like a solo practice space, which is in the bathtub.
But it's like a sacred space where you can just switch off, make a list of five or 10 things that you want in your sex room or the feelings or experiences that you want to have.
So maybe it's like a place where you can feel safe or get kinky, or where you can have impact play, or where you can have your toys ready for you, or your lube or your oil.
Because one of the most important things that you can do to accelerate your sexual awakening and your intimacy is creating a space where you feel like you can drop in. It's kind of like building a home gym.
If you have this space, you're going to work out more, therefore you'll be fitter, therefore you'll spend more time working out because it's right there and it makes you feel good, and it's a healthy space for you.
So I love that she's basically creating this sacred space or temple.
Okay, I love that. And then I think the next scene is the girls at brunch.
And actually, I'm going to take it a step back because Carrie and Patrick go on one date, two dates, three dates, and Carrie's doing a lot of work in the stoop to get him to kiss her.
And he doesn't take her cue, which she's starting to take on personally until like the last day, she's just like tired of being obvious. And like when she's about to drop in the towel and leave, she turns around, grabs him and kisses him.
What do you think about these scenes, especially having men as your clients, notes on Carrie's performance and her eventual like going for it?
Yeah. So I think Carrie's performance is outstanding. I think most women would have given up by then or like really felt a lot of rejection, whereas she's just like gone in for it.
And one thing that he says in particular or that she says is like, you know, I know he's into it because we're going on these dates and I can feel something happening down there.
Yeah.
So, you know, she's not kind of going going for it blindly and like in an awkward in an awkward way. She knows like there is some like and then when you know that it's good that she kept trying to kiss him.
She tried to make something happen and then when it didn't, she finally said, you know what? I'm going to take this into my own hands because there is a spark here. There is something going on.
This is, you know, and I'm not letting this be a rejection of me. So I think that's like 10 out of 10 amazing from from Carrie like super in her power.
What happens is by her being forward and pushing through, they end up having like this explosive magical kiss and he's all up for it. But the reason why he doesn't want to go up with it, he doesn't want to further is because he's never had sober sex.
And so I also see this a lot with men, not necessarily in terms of soberness, but if they've been on a date with a woman that they're super excited about, that they really fancy, and they're feeling like maybe a little bit nervous around any kind of
action in the bedroom or their performance. They'll go on the dates, but then they'll make excuses or prolong reasons to stay out of the bedroom, which can be very confusing for the women on the experience like the other end of it.
And that's why it's so important to have communication because nine times out of 10, we make it mean something about us, and we think the problem is on us when actually it's probably something that is going on with the other person that hasn't been
communicated. And so when you're both in your head, that's when the awkwardness can tend to happen. So I'm really glad that she like pushed through it and just made it happen in an ideal world.
Like what I teach my clients to do is talk about your sexual desires or the things that you're excited about before getting into the bedroom.
And you know, it doesn't have to be like daunting or check listy or super kinky conversation, but at least breaking the ice before you get into the bedroom so that you feel comfortable, especially as a man, because performance anxiety happens because
you're in your head about how you're going to look in front of a woman. And women, men have a lot more at stake, you know, if women, as women, if we're not turned on, you know, we can put a bit of lube down there and we're fine, you know, or
whatever. But if a guy is in his head and he can't get hard, we can see it, we can feel it and like intercourse is not going to be able to happen. And it's awkward. Yeah, it's awkward for everyone.
So yeah, guys have a lot more at stake. So communication before getting into the bedroom.
Okay. And would you say anything about dating a recovering addict when maybe he's completely out of the program?
It's very tricky. You need to have a lot of patience. Maybe you need to have had some experience with addicts or addiction.
For me, it was like not an easy process. But I think I think there is a point where there's also something called sex and love addiction.
And I think in this program, you're not allowed to have sex or even go on dates with someone unless you've been through the program for at least a year because attachments can be so intense and co-regulating and codependency, all of this stuff, even
Carrie says it at some point, tend to be extremely high with somebody who's in a new phase of going through recovery. And like she also points out, you might be in recovery of one addiction, but something else will take in place, become the flavor of
Yeah.
Okay. The scene after that is the girls at brunch and Carrie's ordering everything on the menu because she's starving, because she's been having sex with Patrick all night and all morning. And then Charlotte confesses, like, no, it's fine.
You guys didn't talk about it. I've made peace with the fact that maybe I need a little help. So I found this sex workshop for Tantric Sex and I signed us all up for it.
And this is what I'm going to discuss with you because they go into this workshop. I would love for you to maybe give us a one on one or like, what is Tantric Sex and who do you think it's for?
Yeah, so Tantric Sex can be as broad and as deep as you want it to, but it can also be as light as really just like connecting on a deeper level, which is through presence more than anything else than like performance or which is often how we tend to
communicate in sex is like, am I pleasing them? Am I pleasing? And am I performing to the best of my ability? So that kind of Tantric Sex kind of like strips away any sort of ego and desire to prove yourself.
And the beauty of it is it brings you into like breath and eye gazing and moving bodies together and really being one like one entity rather than two people in their head. So it's really about being in your body.
So in that sense, I honestly think Tantric Sex or aspects of Tantric Sex is for everybody.
Like everybody who wants to have a deeper connection to themselves actually and to their partner, which is kind of what's missing in today's day and age, should have some kind of background knowledge on connection on a deeper level of connecting
Would you maybe say that that could be like a fun experiment to put a guy with intimacy issues through or like it's baby steps and then maybe that?
I think it's...
So there's baby steps within Tantra, but what a lot of people... Because Tantra is the sort of like most widely common thing, when you talk about sex, people are like, oh, sex must...
Or like, you know, the sex positive version of sex, people immediately go to Tantra, when actually there's a whole lot of things that we need to be understanding and learning about ourselves before we even jump into that.
But, you know, even like, what does your masturbation practice look like? You know, are you still watching pornography? Are you only orgasming to relieve stress?
And you do it in three minutes. Are you, you know, actually connected to yourself and getting turned onto the sensations of your body rather than stimulation of like, external visuals or fantasy in your head?
So all of these things that you can actually start gently and softly in your own pleasure practice, like it honestly all starts at home in the bedroom with yourself.
Okay. So we all have the tools to like get there slowly, even if you're single and not ready to date.
Especially if you're single and not ready to date, because we all need to be connected to our eros and our arousal at some point.
And often when you're not dating, you can like really drift away from, especially as women, we can kind of become celibate by accident. Yeah.
Yeah.
So stay connected to your sexuality.
Okay. And what do you think about this Lingam massage demonstration? And like, do you see that happening at any, like, is it even legal?
Like I was just like, oh my God, this is outrageous.
Yeah. That scene was intense. It was very intense.
I mean, especially for Miranda.
Bless you.
But if you go to Berlin, this kind of stuff happens. It's very common in workshops and things. What is probably not legal is having that happen without forewarning people so that you can give them consent.
But yeah, it does. If you go to Berlin or other very sex positive cities, you'll definitely be able to find this kind of thing.
I think it was interesting though that I was a bit disappointed because everything that you've set now as notes to the Charlotte storyline is more like go back to yourself, see what you like, see what your body is tuned to and what it reacts when
what turns you on. And I was a bit disappointed that this workshop was all about giving pleasure to the other one.
And even when Charlotte does it at the end of the episode to her sex partner, it doesn't feel like she's connecting at all with herself. She's just like achieved something that she was like, there you go. He told me I was good.
I agree.
So 100% agree.
Maybe this catapults us to like the advice that you can give to the girls.
If you had a client like Charlotte that came to you with this problem and was in the middle of a relationship where obviously sex is already on the table and she feels like she is not delivering and she could do a lot better, what would maybe be the
first few tips that you would give her instead of having the ligand massage as her first step? How would you maybe train her to become more confident and comfortable with the fact that she can and is good to her partner in bed?
That's a good, that's a very good question.
And often when I have couples come in who are facing kind of sexual struggles in the bedroom, then I usually get them to take sex off the tables completely because it creates super high pressure environments.
And often what's happening is like, you know, maybe Charlotte isn't feeling good about herself, then that manifests itself as insecurity in the bedroom and then the connection is lost.
And then the next time it goes to happen, there's a lot of pressure. And I think what, you know, from my experience working with couples is the biggest issues is that pressure to have like, to have sex when you don't want to have sex.
And why are we not having enough sex? And comparing yourself to this, I don't know who made this like, you need to be having sex three times a week rule, but couples seem to think that they will only be doing that.
So my first thing is always take sex off the tables completely. And learn about each other's bodies through body mapping.
And that's basically just a very simple practice of, you know, lying each other down and running your hands from head to toe, experiencing and touching and exploring every inch of your partner's body.
For you to feel, for them to understand like what their erogenous zones are, what they like, what kind of touch they like. Maybe you scratch, maybe you tickle, maybe you massage, you know, more intensely.
And that is a real way for you to connect and stay intimate whilst also learning about your partner and for your partner to learn about themselves.
And, you know, I also would suggest learning how to do not only a lingo massage, but also a yoni massage. I actually have, I have some freebies on my website for anyone who does want to learn how to do those.
I mean, they're very like simple and gentle. And when you take the pressure out off of penetration, because women actually don't want penetration all of the time. I'm sorry, but hot take, we don't always want penetration.
So when you take penetration off of the table, it also then creates this arousal and desire to then want it more, like that delayed feeling of seduction.
Like when you take something away that you can't have, then one, you're able to relax and two, you crave it more. And that is how you kind of like create craving and desire and excitement in long-term couples.
Amazing. Okay. And then for Miranda, what would you tell her?
Because I think in this episode, she is the one that is like single and maybe not, maybe getting ready to date, but not dating.
What other things would you tell her to do other than like buying super expensive bed linen and making sure that she's loving her bed so that somebody else might too?
Yeah, I love that she's starting with herself. So, you know, creating a space that she loves, creating an environment and a sexiness for herself.
But a lot of what I have seen in some women is that they can disguise and mask their self-love for not having to get out there and actually, you know, create connection with somebody else because, you know, oh, well, I'm focusing on myself and it's
all about my self-love. And, you know, until I get to that good point, then I obviously I'm going to track the guy.
But, you know, there comes a point where it's amazing to be doing that, but you also be needing to like leave the house, get out there, be excited about your singledom whilst you're also like exploring and enjoying yourself and your self-love at home
and personally, like within yourself. So say yes to all opportunities. Be curious. Ask questions before going on dates so that you're not wasting time with like guys that are maybe burning you out or not exciting you.
Like be flirtatious. Play with your eyes. Enjoy being sexy.
And if you don't know how to do that, practice in front of the mirror. Like I'm not joking. And or, you know, look at women in the media who are very good at being sexy.
Angela, Cari, I think is very good at being subtly flirtatious.
Yeah, I agree. Okay, then I think Samantha, we didn't go into her story line, but she obviously gets offered to do a threesome with two gay men. And she is getting ready to go into the bedroom.
And she asked herself that question of like, am I this free sexually that I can actually participate in a threesome with two gay men? And she goes into the bedroom wanting to have a conversation.
And when she sees the way that they look at her, she's like, never mind, I'm into it. And when they start going for it, which again, I remember seeing this episode the first time and being like, whoa. And then they get super turned off.
And they're like, actually, you know what? No, let's just go out and get some gelato. What would you tell her at the fact that she took it so personally?
Like, something's wrong with me because they were super into it and then they weren't.
Yeah. I mean, I get it because she essentially was offering her feminine body to them and they totally rejected it. And it was their idea in the first place.
And she freely and openly was happy to give them the exploration that they wanted and hers as well. So I totally get why she felt like majorly rejected.
But what I say to anybody going into a threesome is first, whether you're gay, straight, mixed, whatever it is, ask about what the experience they want to have is and what the experience that you want to have is.
Because they could be completely mismatched and then you get into it and then no one's having fun. And there is a big stigma around like threesomes should just be natural and they should just be organic and we shouldn't be talking about it.
But actually threesomes are like one of the top causes, top fantasies that actually end up failing.
Yeah.
And you also always want to have a safe word prepared so that you, you know, if one party isn't enjoying it or it's getting overwhelmed or it's not their thing, you just say the safe word, all play stops and nobody has to take any kind of, you know,
rejection or negativity out of it, which is kind of what happened here, because, you know, nobody had any communication around this and they all just suddenly stopped and then wanted to get ice cream. So yeah, always have a safe word so that, you
Amazing.
And then last but not least, do you think that Carrie got anything wrong with Patrick in this episode?
I think she was spot on. I really enjoyed Carrie's performance in this. You know, he overattached and he kind of confuses the dopamine and the serotonin, aka like the feel good and love hormones that you get when you have sex.
You know, from sober sex to being in love with her. So she recognizes that she pulls the plug. And I think that's very well done.
And she also doesn't let herself become codependently attached when he's having a meltdown on the street.
Yeah. Okay. Amazing.
And lastly, I would love to maybe hear from you and give our update to our listeners on what it is you're working on. I know you've launched a new kind of event that I would love for you to elaborate on.
So where can people find you and what's going on with the Fifth House?
Yeah. So I have just launched a really fun concept, especially for all of you Sex and the City fans. It's called The Night We Met.
And it's essentially an invite-only experience for single people who are really done with the dating apps or mingling in the same groups of friends and don't really have exhausted their pool of friends or friends who have been trying to set them up.
And it's really like me getting a mixture of people who you'd probably never come across but would probably get on with. And it's lightly curated by myself so that we get into like some deep questions, but also keeping it light.
You know, I think a lot of especially men get a little bit freaked out about the concept of having to go really deep, really quickly. But, you know, it's actually like very fun.
It's just a different way of experiencing connection that you wouldn't normally get in say like a nightclub or at the counter of a bar. And yeah, it's really, really fun. And I'm doing them in Europe.
So these are in person in certain cities, depending on whether or not you're there or?
Yeah, so I have a couple happening in Ibiza, and then Lisbon is the next one in October.
So if anyone's in Lisbon in October, then please let me know. There's an application form, or you can just DM me on Instagram. I always get back to my DMs there.
And then, yeah, what else do I have going on is my pleasure code, which is the program that I run for men. And that's six weeks long.
It's all about your sexual expression as a man and your masculinity and how to meet women in their pleasure and their exploration too.
Have you ever had any women buy it from you to give to a guy friend?
I almost did. Yeah, I had a wife call me up and she was like, I need to get this for my husband.
Amazing. Okay, I'm going to pitch it as a maybe gift because most of the listeners are women. Thank you so much, Alejandra.
I'll pop all that on the show notes and we'll catch you soon. Thank you. See you soon.
Bye.
Thank you for tuning in to another episode of And Just Like That We Found Therapy.
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