Death, Rebirth & Why Buying Your Flat Alone Is Not a Death Sentence — S2E5 with Vana Koutsomitis, Matchmaker

About This Episode

In Season 2 episode five of And Just Like That… We Found Therapy, host Isabel MV welcomes back the show's very first guest — elite matchmaker and dating expert Vana Koutsomitis — to unpack Sex and the City's "Four Women and a Funeral." It's the show's most existential episode: death, timing, rebirth and the question nobody wants to answer — what would actually need to be different for you to go back to your ex?

H2: What We Cover

• Dating a widower: what emotional maturity looks like when you're entering someone else's love story

• The real reason Carrie called Mr. Big after the funeral — and why grief and fear of dying alone make terrible dating advisors

• Should you text your ex? Vana's astrology-informed take, plus the two questions that matter more than timing

• Miranda buying her apartment alone: why financial independence repels the wrong man and attracts the right one

• Charlotte's fatal flaw — falling in love with potential instead of reality

• Ned the widower and emotional manipulation: is using grief to lure women a red flag or a 90s relic?

• Samantha using seduction as fundraising currency — and what it really says about her self-worth

• Carrie going back to Big's apartment and then running: brave or a tease? Vana makes a compelling case for brave

• Why the real love story of this episode — and of life — is the one you have with yourself

• Timing pressure vs. the who and why: the two questions that actually matter in dating

H2: About Our Guest

Vana Koutsomitis is an elite matchmaker, dating coach and entrepreneur based between New York and Europe. A former Apprentice UK candidate, she helps clients navigate modern dating with clarity and self-awareness. She is currently compiling real love stories from 2025 and wants to hear from you — follow her at @vana_cristina on Instagram and share how you met your person.

Five Season 2 episodes formatted — you're nearly through the season! Ready for the next whenever you are 🙌Transcript

Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of And Just Like That. We Found Therapy. I am so happy we have our first repit on the show.

We have Vana Koutsomitis. How are you, Vana?

I'm good. How are you?

Very good. Vana, for those of you who haven't heard the pilot yet, is a dating expert and also matchmaker based out of New York, but she is now also splitting her time in Europe. Yep, that's me.

Yes, so this is perfect because I always love Vana's point of view as a hardcore New Yorker and the matchmaking expertise and dating tips. Anything else that you want to add on to that, Vana?

No, I think that's perfect. I'm a matchmaker by day and a great coach friend at night, right? That's at the end of the day what I focus on.

As I said on the pilot, Vana got assigned as my buddy at the first investment bank I worked in in London and she hasn't graduated from like training me through life.

So cute. Today, we are here to discuss season two, episode five of Sex and the City, which is four women at a funeral.

I'm excited. I'm a little nervous because I feel like this is a very heavy, charged episode.

Yes, it's such a good one. Like finally heavy drama. But in this episode, we open up with the death of one of Carrie's friends, Javier.

He's a fashion designer who apparently passed away because of heroin. And the girls are attending the funeral. So Carrie is going in her little black dress.

Samantha walks in in a Javier design, because apparently that's what you should wear to a designer's funeral, not black. And Charlotte is Carrie's date to the funeral.

And in this funeral, I love it because it's supposed to be a sad event, but everyone's wearing the designer's clothes, as Samantha rightly guessed.

And the sister of the designer comes to say some words, and she's saying, like, the girls are commenting on how good that woman looked because she wasn't gorgeous a week before. And death became her, and suddenly she's done a televersace.

And this woman is basically calling for people to help with a heavier foundation to find people who suffer from addiction.

Cue in to one of the storylines that is Samantha saying, like, I'm going to help them raise money to get all the unlisted to one, two numbers in New York and Cue to another storyline, which is Charlotte grabbing Samantha's hat just to not feel so out

of place because she was also dressed in black. Her hat flies over to the tombstone of a woman. And Charlotte meets this man named Ted or Ned or something boring like that. And she was like, Oh, my God, I am so sorry.

And the man says, Don't worry, it's actually quite appropriate because she used to love hats. And Charlotte is like, Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Was she your sister?

Because she checks the dates of the tombstone. And it was a young woman. And he was like, No, she was my wife.

And she was like, Oh, any kids? And he was like, Nope. And then the girls are in the car, and Charlotte basically tells them, I'm going out for a drink with them.

How do we feel about Charlotte picking up a man in the middle of a funeral?

I'm not totally against it. I think that nowadays, like we just start in like a different era, right? I mean, obviously this was filmed so long ago.

So if we're speaking about the context of then, maybe it was a little bit more cringe. But now, it's like, you know, dating apps are so hard and difficult and toxic. Like, maybe a funeral is better than a dating app.

Thousand percent.

I know where my vote is going. But I find it hilarious that they're in the car and Samantha's like, babe, like, why would you want to date a widower?

Then you're going to jump into, you know, somebody's shoes who you're never going to be able to fill because she's dead. And no matter how much of a bitch she was in the real world, you'll never live up to her expectations because she's dead.

And Charlotte is the eternal optimist is like, well, he got married, which shows that he can commit and he's been through this, which shows he's going to have like a range of emotions and feelings that he's gone through.

Do you agree with that statement of Charlotte?

Well, I think that it's sort of like when you speak to matchmakers, a lot of the times they tell you that it's often easier to set someone up who's divorced than it is to set someone up who's been single for a really long time.

And the reason for that is that the divorced person is more likely to have compromised a lot. And, you know, sometimes people think that if you've been single for 10 plus years, maybe you've kind of gotten too set in your ways.

But I actually don't really believe in that. I actually believe that it's not so black and white. And if you ask me my opinion, I would just say that dating a widower is just all about emotional maturity.

Right? So you have to be able to... If you're emotionally mature enough to do it, I think it can be a very beautiful relationship because you'll basically have to make peace with the fact that you're entering someone else's story.

And what makes them who they are today is that past story. So it's almost about embracing the ex and loving the ex and loving or not the ex, the person who passed, and being able to love that person for what they made your current partner.

Does that make sense? So it's just about trusting that that person was a good impact and made a good influence on the person that you're dating. And if you can keep that mentality, it's a very positive experience.

But if you start getting jealous and if you start thinking, oh, I'm not living up to the expectations, then it'll end up to be a really toxic relationship.

Don't you agree?

It's just all about loving someone with their whole story.

Yeah, no, I completely agree. I just did a bit of investigation for this episode. I was trying to see if the date on the newspaper where Javier's death was announced was available and then the tombstone on when this woman died.

Basically, I think this woman had been dead for like a year. How, and that was when I was like, oh, is it too soon?

Because at the end of the day, even if they had just broken up, gotten divorced, separated, whatever you want to call it, I think you always need to grieve a partner that's no longer. So it is a grieving process.

But how do you feel as a dating expert slash matchmaker to maybe grieve such an important commitment like a marriage can be within a year? Do you think that is a case-by-case basis? Do you think that it might be too soon?

No, I just think it depends on the man.

I think it depends on the person because like grief isn't linear. Grief isn't just black and white. Like people deal with grief in different ways.

And I think the more important question is like, can you ask yourself, does this feel too soon? Like, is he showing up and is he present with me? You'll know in your gut if the guy is ready for someone new.

I think it's really a case by case basis. I don't think we can generalize when it comes to this.

Okay, so what's giving him the benefit of the doubt? He might be over it.

Yeah, I think he might be over it. And I think more importantly, he might have been able to weave that experience into the person he is today. It's kind of like what I was saying before.

It's like if he has the ability to completely come to peace and feel at peace with that death, then he'll be able to be fully present with you.

But there will be some signs that he's not over the person if you feel like there's a sort of like spirit or ghost in the middle of your relationship.

And that's the thing I would look out for, is if he's always talking about her, if he's always mentioning little anecdotes or stories about their time together, then it might be a sign that he's not ready yet.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, this is very useful for how it develops. So after that, Carrie is back in her apartment and she's going through the fragility and brevity of life.

She was like, Oh my God, we don't know how long we're here. I haven't still been to Greece. I haven't finished painting my bathroom.

My Visa card balance is still not completely settled. And I'm following that chain of thoughts with her. And she's like, picks up the phone and dials Mr.

Big's number. And basically she's like, Hey, I was just at a funeral and thought of you. Do you want to have dinner?

And he's like, sure, I'd like to have dinner anytime. Like, who do you mean with? And she's like, Oh, with me.

And you can see that she's in her closet being coquettish. And she's nervous. Like, it's the first seven, six months after they've broken up that they're talking.

In the previous episode, I think she also has a very rough episode where she's like the single and fabulous and gets completely nailed.

So I think there's a couple of things weighing in her mind that she might die alone, that life is a lot shorter than we think it might be. So I think she's just like, what I felt for this man deserves another look.

So they agreed to go out to dinner on a Saturday night. As my friend who could be Carrie's friend, dating expert matchmaker, how do you feel about those things?

We're like, to this day, I think earlier in the episode, she does say that that man has commitment issues. How do you feel about her reaching out to him to reignite that?

Okay. So this is like, it's something I've grappled with in the past. I've grappled with this idea of like, am I going to end up alone?

If I'm single for too long, does that actually, is that like a premonition for the future? But I think that the most important thing is that Carrie didn't want big six months ago.

So, what makes her, like, her crisis, her mental crisis, is what's making her go back to him. And I understand that like, life feels short, whatever, we don't always like know what's coming next.

But I wish that she could remind herself that that wasn't the right relationship for her. And this is what Carrie constantly does, is she constantly goes back into the toxicity, thinking that it's going to change and get better.

But let me tell you, when someone shows you who they are, believe them, it's not going to be different. Like a 40 year old man isn't going to suddenly change the way he acts.

Yeah.

Right.

Right. Especially that like, again, nothing has changed. And like there was a part of me that was like, girl, at least wait for him to come back.

And then you might be in a position to be like, what's new? What is new? What are you bringing new to the table?

What's going to bring me to the table right now? Because it wasn't working for me six months ago. That's the point.

What is going to be different now?

So to all the girls that might be thinking about texting their ex, what would you say?

So this is a very interesting time to ask that question, because I'm really into astrology.

And the planet of love, which is Venus, is in retrograde right now, which means it's going backwards. Okay? So what does it mean?

It means that this period from about mid-March to about mid-April, actually it's April 12th to be exact, we are kind of re-evaluating what love means to us, so as a collective.

And what that means is a lot of us are getting back in touch with exes, and we're thinking about past relationships. And my advice is always to wait until these retrogrades are over to make any decisions.

So if you're thinking about texting your ex, just wait until April 12th, please do nothing before, and maybe you'll have some increased clarity then.

But I read this book, I think it was Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, by the way, it's like a classic. Or actually, it was a different one, it was another classic, which is, it's called a breakup because it's broken.

Okay.

And I really love that concept because I think a lot of us have rose-colored glasses, and that's the beautiful part about humans, right? We don't always have the best memories, and that's a survival instinct.

We don't always want to remember all the bad stuff. But what I think is really important is that, like, you're probably not remembering, like, all the really bad things that happened with your ex, probably not remembering, like, why you broke up.

So take a moment, meditate 30 minutes with no phone, and then I want you to journal, why do you want to get back to this person? Why do you want to get back in touch with them? And what would need to be different for you to re-engage?

That's the key question. What would need to be different for you to re-engage? Because it's possible, people do mature, people change, like, there is an evolution in life of humanity.

But remember that you cannot go back to that same setup because it wasn't working for you before. So if that person is willing to change and alter their behavior, maybe.

But I really want everyone to be extremely cautious when they're getting back with an ex.

Okay, I love it. I think there's probably half of the listeners here that need to hear that. So they make a plan to have dinner on a Saturday.

And in the meantime, we explore the other two storylines or three storylines. It is Samantha going around Manhattan, asking for donations for the Havier Foundation. And she comes across these birdsterns.

I don't know if he's like a partner chairman, basically somebody super wealthy. And he hits on her and Samantha being who she is and having done the episode where she said that anything short of sex is available for you to get what you want.

She lets him kiss her and his wife walks into them. So, or in on them. What do you think about Samantha always putting herself in a situation where it was like so sticky?

Like this man is married, you're in his house. This is your professional reputation and you're a business owner.

I mean, this is classic Samantha, right? She just makes these like really impulsive decisions and sometimes isn't really thinking about the repercussions. So, I mean, at the end of the day, I'm pretty strict when it comes to this type of thing.

Like, married men are off limits.

Yeah.

Punto, period. It's like this is like, we don't even need to keep talking about it. Like, but I think that this is like, geek Samantha, right?

Because it's all about power. She always wants to maintain the power. And she uses that charm to get what she wants, but sometimes it backfires.

And I just think that for Samantha, like the advice for her would be like, check yourself, you know? Why do you need that power? And what part of you needs to engage in that type of behavior?

Why do you need to hurt other people? Right? Like, I think sometimes Samantha uses that seduction as currency, and she doesn't really realize that there's a cost to her behavior, right?

Yeah.

No, she's very Machiavellian with her ways.

I don't know. I just think that this whole episode is just all about timing, right?

So like, if we want to look at Samantha's behavior, if we want to think about Carrie's impulse to text big, if we want to think about all the different little nuances like, you know, Javier's death at the funeral, this whole episode really, like the

theme of it is this like meditation on timing, like what's too soon? What's too late? What's too much? What's not enough?

Right? So like Carrie, is she gonna end up alone? Did she break up with Big too soon?

Like Javier, did he die too soon? Like, Samantha, like, would she have kissed that guy if he didn't have, if he wasn't married? You know?

It's all around timing. And the question is, who are you reaching for and why, not when? I think our timing pressure is what causes a lot of mistakes.

It causes a lot of mistakes for me. Me feeling pressured to settle down faster or do things quicker, usually backfired. So I would encourage you to think about who and why, not when.

When doesn't help you. It's who and why. Those are the two questions you should really be asking yourself.

I love that.

Okay. The other storyline is Charlotte exploring things with Net. They go out for a drink and they're saying, it's been lovely.

And next time we should grab proper dinner. And then the guy opens his wallet to pay for the drinks. And I think it just like flops onto the little pouch where he keeps pictures.

So Charlotte is like, oh my god, is that her? She's so beautiful. And he's like, yeah, that's her.

And then he gets a bit upset and starts crying.

And in the voiceover, Carrie says in a previous, like in a different setting, a man crying would have completely put off Charlotte, but because of him being emotionally mature, available, whatever you want to call it, it drew her even more in.

And the guy is saying like, I'm sorry, it's just weird for me to talk about her in a date. And Charlotte says, that's fine, take all the time you need, which was basically 45 minutes. And then Charlotte apparently brings Ned back to life twice.

So what do you think is obviously seeing it from the, you know, watcher's perspective, it looks like he's put that on and he's playing this little act that he might put on because it gets women. Am I too cynical?

Like, have you seen this happen in the real world?

I think we have. I think this is a very 90s, early 2000s type of theme that we're seeing that we won't, we wouldn't see in a modern day TV show because this is not our current problem, in my opinion.

Our current problem is actually emotional unavailability.

Yes.

Right? Our current problem is that, in my opinion, men are encouraged to connect less, not more.

So I don't usually see this sort of emotional manipulation as much because at the end of the day, what you're describing really is an emotional manipulation.

If he's using his, you know, death of his ex to basically try to lure in new women, that is like dark, dark. That is like really bad. Right?

And that's emotional manipulation. But potentially, it's better than what we're seeing nowadays in the dating world, which is just like a complete cutoff from emotional connection and a complete sterilization of the way that people actually interact.

Right? If I think about the guys that I've dated, I can't tell you that most of them were super emotionally vulnerable and available. I can tell you the majority of them were very emotionally distant and it was hard to crack them.

So I personally don't see this as a big problem nowadays. But if that is the case, if that's what he was doing, he needs therapy.

Okay. And then the other storyline is Miranda buying her first apartment in New York. And even when the real estate agent is showing her the apartment around, she's like, Oh, so who else is buying the property with you?

And she's like, No, it's just me. It's like, Oh, maybe once you buy the place, your boyfriend will move in. It's like, No, it's just me.

And they keep walking around this apartment. And I'm like, Where are they? Because I've lived in New York and like so many steps.

So it is a big apartment and the woman is like, I'm Brooklyn, I think, right? That's later. Like, no, this is a preside, I feel.

So Miranda is like really earning big bucks at her law firm. She's just like, Listen, woman, I have a lot of shoes. It's just me.

I'll take it. And we basically find out that the person living in that apartment before her was Ruthie, and she was probably old and she died in that apartment. And it took people to realize that she was dead like a week.

So when they broke into the house, the cat had eaten half of her face.

And that's Miranda's storyline for this episode, that she is eating, take out Chinese, chokes on a piece of something, almost dies, and calls Carrie being like, Hey, I almost just died.

And that will probably be what happens to me, because everybody keeps asking me if I'm alone, because I am buying this apartment by myself, and I almost just choked, and my cat will probably eat my face when I die. So isn't it sad?

It's a real fear.

Yeah, but isn't it sad that this woman is so kick ass that in her mid 30s, she's buying an amazing apartment in one of the best, if not the best neighborhood of Manhattan. And this is the struggle that she's facing.

I know. Well, at the end of the day, she is embodying this sort of next gen woman, right? The woman who works.

And if we look at our society and how it's evolved, this is a pretty recent change, right? We've seen women enter the workforce at alarming rates, amazing rates.

It's great to see women are working, men are working, and now that we're in a more equal society. But obviously, 100 years ago, that wasn't the case. So even 60 years ago, that wasn't the case.

So I think, I mean, 60 years ago, it was more the case, but it was still revolutionary and different. So I think what this is really showing us is how single women have been pressured to be coupled.

And my question when I hear this is, why is there so much pressure for that financially successful woman to have a partner? And what is the time pressure? Again, it's that same feeling of like, she's buying this apartment today, right?

Who knows what's going to happen next week? She could meet someone and they could move in with her, whatever. But why does this real estate agent care so much?

Why is the story even told to her about Ruthie, who passed in the apartment whose face was eaten by a cat? Obviously, there's something there. There was a reason that story was told to her.

And I think it's just super disempowering. There's been a huge shift and women can be the breadwinner. The man can take care of the child.

This is not...

Can I... I'm going to interrupt you, because I love that Miranda is talking to the girls about this. And she's like, you will not believe how many people are like just you.

Like the down payment is coming from your father, right? And she's like, no, it's just me. And she says, if I were a man, I wouldn't have to face all these questions.

And Charlotte says, the thing is that women don't want a woman that can do it all, because it shows that you don't need a man.

And she says, that's why I'm still renting, because I know that the man that I'm going to marry will want me to need him to provide the home. And Samantha says, who ordered a Victorian?

I do think that some people that still think this way, like, oh, I'm not going to make this financial commitment or take the responsibility over my housing situation. And we know that rents in New York, London, where we live, are just skyrocketing.

And so I get married, because, you know, maybe the man will set that up for me. What do you think about that? Do you think that that's still prevalent in this day and age, or do you think that it's changing?

Well, I can say that it's something that crossed my mind in the past.

You know, there's this feeling as a woman of wanting to be...

Rescued?...

dependent.

And yeah, I wanted, in the past, I actually ended up buying my own apartment, but when I was buying the apartment, I was actually grappling with this question of like, you know, we've sold the idea that, we've been sold this idea that like certain

milestones are reserved for partnership, right? So like buying a house together is a part of that happily ever after, right? Like he proposes, we get married, then he buys the home or we buy the home together. But here's the problem, okay?

Tying your financial growth to someone else's timeline is the fastest way that you lose power, right?

So like if you can afford it and you're holding off just in case a man might do it for you someday, you're outsourcing your future to someone who hasn't shown up yet. Like, why delay that freedom?

A thousand percent. From the men in your clients, though, do you think that there's some truth to that? That maybe a man that sees that a woman has already purchased her flat and like is financially independent and does not need him.

Do you think that there's some truth that they might not be as, you know, eager to be with them, be the rescuer because there is a part of the man that wants to be the rescuer?

Well, I think this is, again, it's not binary, it's not black and white, but from my experience, matchmaking, I can say that men, especially really high performing ones, they are, if they're emotionally evolved, right?

If they're secure and growth oriented, they're actually turned on by a woman who's already financially independent. Because it shows them that she's confident, she's deep and that she's partnership potential, right?

But of course, there are men who feel threatened, of course. And it's not just about the money, it's about what the money represents. It represents power.

And if a man is insecure, then her financial independence will take away his power.

But I personally think that you should lean towards that autonomy and see which man comes towards you, because that man is bound to be much more emotionally robust and mature. Right?

Because you don't want a man whose self-worth is tied to being in control.

Yes. You don't want that.

That's a recipe for disaster. Right?

Yes. Okay. What do you think?

No, I completely agree, but I'm loving the way that you're kind of like packaging the answers for this. Yeah.

Just like, I think that it's not really the money, right? It's the mirror. So a woman who's built her own life is actually a mirror to a man.

So she's reflecting back to the man any work that he may still need to do. Because the right man is going to be happy to build with you. So like you've already built something and he'll be happy to build together.

But the wrong man will see it as a threat.

Yeah.

So if anything, this will just repel the wrong man. Buy your own place. Be financially independent.

Do your thing.

I agree. Okay. So next is Carrie going out with Mr.

Vig. They're out at a dinner. Carrie looks amazing.

Like there is something about the chemistry between these two characters that you can just see. I don't know if they put a special love into her hair and makeup. She is glowing.

And they're having a very flirty conversation about death and heaven and what happens after life. And Mr. Vig is saying that to him, heaven is a bed and like, he's just putting in some inn windows there that like he's like hitting on her.

And Carrie says, I'm not going to sleep with you tonight. And he's like, Oh, is that right? And then they end up back at his place.

And in the last minute, Carrie's voiceover says like, I was feeling so excited and like alive again, but like suddenly it felt so wrong. And she runs away and says that, you know, she gets scared, like reviving this relationships after six months.

Suddenly seemed like a very wrong idea. Which I guess in the 19th, it was even more real to have this image of women who are, I think in Spain, they call them microwaves. They heat up, but they don't cook anything.

Like she was a tease and like she took it way too far. And then she said no, which now that conversation has evolved to like no means no. And you can say it at any point and consent and whatnot.

But I'm curious to know what you think of how she played her cards of like giving him a call, setting up that dinner, not being able to resist that chemistry, going back to his place and then pulling off her tracks at the last minute to protect

Well, are you asking if I think she did the right thing?

Yes.

I mean, I personally think she's perfect.

Like she's human. We're all human. We want to dabble back in sometimes to rediscover someone.

We want to go back into our old love stories. And that's okay and that's healthy. That's human.

So I don't see it as teasing. I see it as Carrie is testing the waters of her own healing. Okay.

So Carrie, in my opinion, just wanted to see if she could be around big without falling back of the same pattern. And when it felt too familiar too fast, she listed her intuition and she freaking ran, right?

And I think when you mentioned that she was so glowing, it's because she was hopeful, right? She was hopeful that this could go differently. It's kind of like what I just said before.

Like, what would you need to be different for you to get back with your ex? She needed to not get into bed with him to believe in this relationship again.

But when she realized that they were just back in the same place, back in the little sexual innuendo, she was able to hear the alarm bells ring and say, shoot, I know this road. This broke me last time.

So instead of repeating the cycle, she did the bravest thing you could ever do, which is leave. That's what I believe.

I love it.

That's a sign of bravery.

Yeah. Okay. So then the episode kind of wraps, and Charlotte gets invited to a memorial for Ned's wife.

And she discovers that he's invited like another two women. And she's like, oh, are those your sisters? He's like, oh, I don't have any sisters.

And like, she kind of like breaks the bouquet of lilies on him because she gets that like she was not the only one bringing him back to life.

Then Samantha gets finally reinstated to not being a social pariah through working in the heavier house with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Miranda faces her fears of potentially dying alone by replying to an email to her lawyer saying like, sorry, I am not separated. That was drafted wrong in the papers for me to buy my flat. I am single.

And like she cheers to it in her new apartment. And Carrie kind of like screens through four calls from Mr. Big.

Mr. Big shows up at her place, and he's like, good, you're alive. And they end up going to a bowling alley, because Carrie is like, no, come on, let's go out.

And she tries to take him to the least sexual place. And then they have this conversation where Mr. Big has won the first game, and Carrie's like, oh, let's play another game, best two out of three.

And Mr. Big is like, oh, are you sure you want to go over this one other time and get killed again? And Carrie's saying, like, we didn't, I didn't know what we were talking about anymore, but I knew what my answer was.

And she says, yes, they end up sleeping together. So now we get to the last bit of the episode where I'm gonna ask you as a dating expert and matchmaker, what would your advice to the girls be?

So what would you tell Carrie, who finally does cross that line and goes back to having sex with him? But she looks at this stage very happy, even though she hasn't addressed any issues.

Okay. So in my opinion, this is a very metaphorical episode, right? It's all about these symbols of death and rebirth.

So I'm gonna go through each one and tell them what the advice would be. So for Charlotte, I would say, you got to stop falling in love with potential. Okay?

If a man is crying over his dead wife and you just met him, like you're not the main character, you're just the plot twist. And you deserve someone who's fully present, right?

At the end of the day, if he's acting and pretending and theatrical, there's a problem here. So the lilies, I mean, these were just, I was just like not really into that last bit. She should have seen way before, this guy was a huge red flag.

So stop falling in love with potential. And then to Miranda, I would say, like buying your apartment alone is not a death sentence, right? And you actually faced your biggest fear of being alone.

So don't let anyone make you feel small for that, because you don't know what tomorrow can bring, but today you are focusing on financial independence. So you're probably not going to die alone and get eaten by your cat, right?

What you're building now is the foundation for a full life. And then for Samantha, I'm like kind of mad at Samantha in this episode, so I would tell her, you don't need to seduce people to be seen. Like, your value is not your sexuality.

Your value is not how sexy and attractive you are. It's time to look within yourself and to get to know yourself and to deeply love yourself, right? Keep your power when you're trying to fundraise.

Let them impress you. Like, you do not need to trade your kisses or your, you know, sexual encounters for this cause, for money. Like, you should have a little more confidence and self-worth.

Yeah.

And then, to carry, I would say that, like, bravery isn't always about staying.

And sometimes walking away from something you want because your gut is saying it's not right yet, that is full protection of your heart. So, I would say, I was really proud of you when you didn't fall back into old patterns because that is growth.

And, listen, if you, you're an adult, okay? So, if you're accepting the fact that you might get knocked down again by sleeping with Big and by getting back into that relationship, fine.

But I want you to know that it'll be harder this time to get back up. So, play the game, but only if you're willing to draw on your own terms, right?

It's time, Carrie, to step into your power and make the rules of the game the way you want them to be. Please do not fall into that same dynamic again and get walked all over because it's gonna hurt even more this time.

Yeah.

So, yeah. That's my, like, overall, I think this episode's all about, they talk about, like, I think the title is For Women In A Funeral.

Yeah.

But I think the title should actually have the word rebirth in it, right? Because each character in this episode had to lose something in order to come back to life.

So whether that was, like, illusion or control or fear, like, they each lost something to come back to life. And the real love story that we have in life is really just the one with ourselves.

Great way to end the episode.

Yeah, that's my belief.

All right, Vana, and last but not least, because I know you've been busy creating more things. You've launched a book since you were last year. You also have launched a podcast.

I would love for you to talk a bit more about these two projects and anything else you want to plug in.

Totally. So first of all, thank you for having me. I love Sex and the City.

I'm one of these people who's watched, like, each episode multiple times. And I always find that, like, when I'm in my, like, calmest moment, it's like all I want to do is watch Sex and the City.

So for some reason, these episode analyses just feel so spot on for me. So anyway, just to go back to, like, where I'm at, I'm just creating.

So I'm always interested in hearing people's love stories and hearing people tell me how they met and people telling me their stories right now. That's actually what I've been focused on.

I've been focusing on compiling people's stories and really understanding their love journey today. Dating in 2025 is different than dating in 2012. We've seen a huge shift in people's mentalities and social media and how we relate to each other.

So, if you ask me, like, what's my ask? Why am I... What am I asking the listeners?

It would be, share with me. Follow me on Instagram, adbana.cristina, V-A-N-A underscore Christina, which will be in the notes. And tell me how you met your person.

Talk to me about what you're thinking about. Ask me any questions you have about love, because that's what I'm looking for right now. I'm really looking for real life stories.

And I want to learn from you. I want to learn from people's experience today in 2025. And I want to support.

Amazing.

You're going to have a lot of work, I think.

I love it. Thank you so much for having me.

Thank you. I hope you have a beautiful day. Thank you so much for coming back on.

Can't wait to do it again.

Thank you.