Body Counts, Pacing Intimacy & Why Aidan's Bathtub Move Was Actually Intimacy Level 8.5 — S3E6 with Jake HazelL

About This Episode

In Season 3 episode six of And Just Like That… We Found Therapy, host Isabel MV brings in Jake Hazell — a man who has never seen a single episode of Sex and the City — to give an unfiltered male perspective on "Are We Sluts?" It's the episode where Aidan keeps turning Carrie down and she cannot figure out why, Miranda discovers she has chlamydia and has to call everyone she's slept with, Charlotte's new boyfriend blacks out mid-orgasm and calls her a slut, and Samantha gets ousted from her building after a late-night visitor lets in a burglar.

What We Cover

• Why a man who likes you might still say no to coming upstairs — and what it actually means

• The friend zone fear: is one week and a half into dating too soon to worry about it?

• Do men really decide quickly whether a woman is girlfriend material or just a situationship? Jake's honest answer

• Aidan's bathtub move: romantic intimacy or elaborate seduction tactic?

• Why the longer you wait, the higher the stakes — and whether that's a feature or a bug

• Body counts: does the number actually matter, and why Jake says if you love someone it doesn't change anything

• Chlamydia, responsibility and the awkward list of names you have to call — would you do it?

• Charlotte's investment banker who blacks out mid-orgasm: is it about her, or about him?

• Samantha getting shamed out of her building by her neighbours — and why no community has the right to do that

• Why chasing love produces one-night stands, and why being happy alone is the best starting point

• Jake's story: grief, male mental health, going from banking to gym receptionist, and finding a new hunger for life

About Our Guest

Jake Hazell can almost always be found running a tight door at Dorian in Notting Hill although fitness is his passion. He is an advocate for male mental health and documents his fitness journey on Instagram. Find him in the show notes — and if you message him saying you started working out because of this episode, he will love you for it.

Transcript:

Welcome back, Boundary Babes. This week, I brought in a man, an actual man, to talk about body counts, how to pace intimacy when you actually like someone, and what men are really thinking on the other side of it all.

His name is Jake Hazel, and he has no idea who Carrie and Aiden are. And honestly, that makes his takes even better. I hope you enjoy it.

I'll see you on the other side. Hi everybody and welcome to another episode of On Just Like That We Found Therapy. I am here today with Jake Hazel, who is a man of the streets in Notting Hill, which is probably how we met.

King of all things Dorian. And also, to me, kind of like my fitness inspiration and instructor unofficially. How are you, Jake?

I'm really good, thank you.

Thanks for having me on.

Thank you for coming on. We are here to discuss season 3, episode 6 of Sex and the City, Are We Sluts? And I think it's very fitting that it is you.

I'm just joking. But just as a PSA, Jake has never seen the show. He didn't know who Aidan was.

And even though I told him to watch the episode, he didn't do it. So I just did a little boot camp before we stepped into my office. And hopefully we're ready.

So Aidan, who is the good guy, is finally dating Carrie, after Carrie has been let down by Mr. Big too many a time. And the episode opens with Carrie and Aidan coming back from a date.

Aidan is dropping her off. They are making out by her door. And she kind of like hints at the fact, like, do you want to come inside?

And Aidan says no. And then Carrie gets in her hands like, does he just want to be friends? As a man, do you sometimes do that, that you are interested in someone?

And if you feel like the window is open to sleep with this person, if you are trying to date her more intentionally, you wait.

I think either or, because if you like her, but you are just not in that mood, you could fast forward and think it might ruin what could be. So you might say no. If you are not feeling it, but you like her, you might say no.

Okay, fair, I understand that.

But then Carrie is talking to the girls and she's saying like, I don't understand. Like, I keep doing everything that I always do to get a man to want to sleep with me and it's just not working.

And Samantha, who's like the more promiscuous out of the four, says, well, you got to be careful. You might get friend zoned if you wait too long.

Is this the first time they've met though? No.

No, it's like their third date, they've been going out for a week and a half. And do you think that sometimes women do well in taking it up on themselves to accelerate things, to make sure they don't fall into the friend zone?

What do I think? They do that or they should do that?

Do you think that they should do that?

No.

All right.

No, I don't.

Okay. So nothing to be feared of maybe being one week and a half into a relationship, not sleeping together and fearing the friend zone. You got to just let it sit.

How old are these ladies?

35.

So our age.

Yeah.

No, I think a week and a half is...

I mean, yeah.

It's so soon. Okay. Aiden then starts to see on their fourth day that she's kind of getting like a bit impatient because she's like, hey, do you want to come inside?

What's the deal with Aiden?

Is he just a good guy?

He's just a good guy. He has a dog. So yeah, that's all we need to know to see.

And then after three dates, she's getting impatient.

Yeah.

Fine.

And after the fourth date, she kind of like does it again.

And she's like, hey, do you want to come upstairs? And da da da. And he's like, listen, no.

She's like, fine. Again. Like, yeah, you got to wake up early because you got to take the dog.

Yeah, fine, fine, fine. And she like closes the door and leaves him out. And he knocks on the door.

He's like, what's going on? And she's like, listen, nothing, but like, I'm just a bit confused. Do you just want to be friends?

He's like, I don't know. I don't think so. I don't kiss my friends like I kiss you.

And then he just says, like, listen, there is... I've done this before of like jumping to the bed too early with a woman. And I'm still single.

So I'm in this space where I like kind of want to sleep with somebody that I care about. I think that I could care about you. So I'm just taking things slow.

What do you think about that?

Weirdly, it kind of feels like where I'm at in life right now.

Good for you, Jake.

And I'm not trying to pretend to be a good guy for this.

Okay, but then Carrie is like, okay, fuck, like I did not even think that that was a possibility.

And I have a question for you here that I've heard over and over again in the internet, which is guys know pretty quickly whether they see a woman as a friend, as somebody they could sleep with and just leave it at that, or girlfriend material.

Is this true?

Yeah, I'd say so. I think you always get some sort of a connection. Yeah.

Whether it's a good one or a quick one, if that makes sense.

Is it a sticky label? Like, if you meet somebody, because I have a lot of girlfriends that are like, oh my God, I have such a crush on this guy. And I think he likes me and blah, blah, blah.

And sometimes from the outside, you're like, I think he sees you as a friend. Do you think that they can move from that label onto the maybe girlfriend material?

Yeah, but I think it's really important to talk about, to communicate it. Now, I'm really forward.

Yeah.

So like if I was picking up what I thought was something, in this instance, if I was her, I would say to Aiden, what's going on. Yeah. And some people are just slower burners, aren't they?

Yeah.

I mean, I don't know. I feel like the more I date, the more I'm just like, you know what, I'm going to do as little as possible. Yeah.

One, because I care about a man being masculine and I don't want to set a precedent that I'm going to take the wheel more. And two, because the more I do, the more invested I get. And then if I get rejected, it stings even more.

Whereas if I put a little effort.

I mean, I think to your point, I think you get to a stage where you're almost like, you know, you know what can happen.

Yeah.

You know yourself. And therefore, I suppose it's a guard a little bit, isn't it? You don't want to put too much into dating someone if it's not going to go anywhere.

Yeah.

But on the topic of love, I would always, if you've been on three or four dates, I want to have a conversation with someone.

Good for you, Jake.

Excellent. Excellent points here. Would you also have reacted like Aiden did and be like, hey, maybe we take this a bit slower because I want to see if there's something more serious here?

After three or four dates, probably not.

Longer.

If what he said, like, I've never kissed, I don't kiss anyone like I kiss you.

Yeah.

And so therefore, he's saying he likes her.

Yeah.

And she obviously wants to sleep with him.

Yeah.

I'd probably sleep with her.

Yeah.

If by this time, he likes her.

Oh, at that point.

Got it.

Yeah. I'd be like fine.

Fine. You've convinced me. Then we spin over to one of the other storylines of the four girls in the episode and this is Miranda.

Because she goes to the gynaecologist and she finds out that she has chlamydia.

Is it not the girl Dasey?

No. Miranda is kind of like the more short hair lawyer, pragmatic friend. She has a boyfriend now and she just learned that she has chlamydia.

And she got it from the boyfriend?

No.

So she's cheating on him?

So no.

Apparently she just felt something funny, went to the gynaecologist and was like, Oh, it's chlamydia. But she didn't...

She could have had it for a long time.

Yes. Do you know what chlamydia is?

I know it's an STD but I don't know.

But you don't know what it entails. I didn't know much about it either. So basically as a man, you can be a carrier, but you have no symptoms.

And as a woman, it's just very uncomfortable. But also nothing major.

Yeah. It's curable.

It's curable. But then basically the gynecologist tells Miranda, you got to speak to every sexual partner that you've had to see whether or not they might have given it to you or you might have given it to her or to them.

So she has to make a list of every single person she recalls sleeping with.

Right.

Have you ever seen a guy be so thorough about being responsible when finding out they have an STD?

I mean, I don't think it's, it's not something I've been told. But if you were told you have an STD, I wouldn't go and tell everyone. As in like my mates, you have a responsibility to tell the people you've slept with.

Yeah. But like none of my friends have ever been like, I've just had an STD.

I would totally tell my friends. I was like, can you believe that now I need to make a list and call every single person that I've slept with? And like I probably haven't talked to in months.

Yeah.

So would you? Sounds like a worst nightmare.

I honestly, I think I would try to outsource it and find out if there's a service that is like, can you reach out to all these people, say that it's anonymous, to do the responsible thing but not have to go through that.

Yeah.

Would you sit down and make a list and call everyone?

I mean, if I had to, yeah.

Okay. Again, excellent.

I wouldn't want someone having an STD, hypothetically, that I gave them.

Yeah.

And then they give it to their partner or something, their new partner or something like that.

So you would sit down, write the names, call everyone and be like, okay, I know we haven't talked, but you should get this checked. Okay.

Yeah, of course.

All right. I mean, when I saw it now, I felt like when I got COVID and I was like socially slutty during lockdown, I had to call everybody being like, sorry, I got it, get checked. And everybody hated me.

And if I had to do that about an STD, I'd feel even worse.

Oh, I'd feel a lot worse than an STD. I wouldn't care about COVID unless it was someone's grandparent.

Yeah. But everybody was very nasty to me when I was like, sorry, I can't. Yeah.

And I was doing the responsible thing. I was like, well, thanks.

Well, the Notting Hill crew.

Yeah. Well, not my friends' friends, because everybody was around. So I just met a whole...

And Notting Hill were not well behaved during COVID.

No.

And I was probably not the main spreader. I was just the responsible spreader. Anyway, this chlamydia with Miranda that triggers a conversation with her boyfriend on how many people she'd slept with.

Yeah.

So again, these people are like 35, 36 years old.

And Steve is like, okay, come on, how many men have you slept with? And Miranda's like, I don't want to say it's a bit much. And he was like, no, go on.

Is he cool with the fact she's got an STD?

Yeah.

Steve is a cool guy. He's a bartender. He loves Miranda.

He's laid back. He loves basketball.

And it didn't make her look at him and be like, why do I randomly now have symptoms of chlamydia?

No. So she says, listen, I... So he tries to initiate sex and she says, I can't, I didn't want to have to say this, but turns out I have chlamydia.

You should get yourself checked because I might have given it to you or you might have given it to me. That's when she explains to him.

And how long have they been going out for?

This is the second time around. So probably a few months is the second time around, but like they're like a couple couple. And then they start talking about their body count.

Miranda admits to 42. And she's like, how many, how many women have you slept with? It's like, well, I don't know.

Like, do you want to, do you really want to know? It's like, yes. And she's like, 10.

And Steve Blais is like, no, come on, more. And she's like, OK, 60. It's like, more.

And she's like, what the? And he's like, how many? It's like, I mean, I think over 100.

I'm cute and I'm a bartender. Yeah.

This is why you got me on this for this episode.

I mean, if you want to confirm or deny being in that position of power gives you that power.

It's not power.

I'm just going to ask, does your body count go extremely higher when you're in the hospitality industry?

It could.

It could.

Yeah.

Okay. All right.

We'll leave it at that. I don't think I've sat with many people from the rest of it.

Good for you, Jake. You don't want to...

Is this PG? Do I have to be careful what I say?

No, I swear all the time.

Fine.

So you're fine. And then there's a little voice over that says, However, men who slept with many women were not called sluts. They were called good kissers or even romantics.

Do you still think that there is a big difference in how men perceive women that sleep around and the society perceives men that sleep with a lot of women?

I think society does. I don't.

Okay. Do you have any girlfriends that are very promiscuous?

Yeah. I have girlfriends that sleep with a lot of guys who are single.

Yeah. Yeah.

But I've got loads of girlfriends that were in my relationships. And then I've got loads of friends that have girlfriends in my relationships. I know cheat.

Yeah. But I don't think... I don't think...

Me personally, I can only speak for me, but I don't... I wouldn't judge too much unless it was like you're out all the time. And if I want to be in a relationship with you, do I have to worry?

Right.

Okay. Interesting.

But if you're like single and you like sex...

This is your time to be alive. I mean, this is some consistent advice that I get from the older women at the gym when we get in the sun. It's like, if I were your age, I'd be sleeping around all the time.

Sex is like going to the gym sometimes.

No, it isn't.

It can be.

I get that sex is a big deal. I'm not taking it... Especially if you've had your heart broken, if you've been cheated on, of course.

But emotion can be taken out of sex, in my opinion.

I think for me, it's very hard.

I get that.

Yeah. And I think for women, it's harder. I don't know it very hard, but harder.

I know more...

I don't want to say it wrong there. I never name a name. But I know more women that would look for...

Casual sex.

Casual sex than I do men.

Huh.

Is this sample we are talking about in Notting Hill, the gym, both, beyond?

This is loads. In general.

Interesting.

Now, actually, I know lots of single people. I'm not sure if that's because I'm single. I don't hang out with people in couples anymore, because it just depresses me.

It does.

It does depress me too, if it makes you feel any better.

Yeah. It's Saturday afternoon, and we're talking about being single.

There we are. All right. And then Aidan and Carrie are back on another date, and they are having Chinese takeout, watching a movie.

And even though Aidan had that conversation with her of like, listen, I like you. I think I could care about you. Let's take things low.

She's still like, oh, he's analyzing every single thing he does to see whether or not he is friend material or boyfriend material.

What she thinks that.

Yeah. Like we have a voiceover going through the date, being like, he teases me and banters with me like I'm one of the guys' friend. He, whatever, removes some whatever I had on my face in a cute way.

Boyfriend, flirty. He told me that he found Catherine Sutter-Jones' hot friend. So she's clocking every single thing that happens on the date to continue to see whether or not he is pursuing her romantically.

Do you think that that is insane? After having that conversation?

I think she's overthinking it.

A thousand percent.

Yeah.

Okay. Then Carrie calls Charlotte, who's another one of their friends. This is like the conservative kind of like waspy type.

She's like, hey, what are you up to? I'm having a friend playdate because Aidan has been in the bathroom for half an hour. So for all I know, he's doing a number two in there after we ate Chinese takeout.

I'm like, I don't know what to do. She's like, oh no, I'm sorry, blah, blah, blah. Then Aidan calls for her from the bathroom.

She's like, I got to go. My friend is calling me from the bathroom. So I got to know what's up.

She goes into the bathroom and she sees that Aidan has been preparing a beautiful bath for her. And she's like, oh, what is that about? And he's like, listen, you seem so tense that I thought I'd prepare this for you.

She's like, oh, is this like a cheap trick to try to see me naked? He's like, no, I'm going to leave you to it. This was just for you, whatever.

In the end, they both get in the bathtub.

Both of them.

Yeah. And they don't sleep together.

Yeah.

What do you think about that move?

I mean, the whole scene, like, if I was to want to go hook up with someone.

Yeah.

I wouldn't take a Chinese takeout. No way.

Right.

So, from her point of view, and to anyone listening, I would probably... Some guys might like to have sex off to Chinese, but I wouldn't.

No, especially the first time. It's just like...

He just sounds like Mr. Nice Guy.

Mr. Nice Guy. And honestly, to me, that kind of date is intimacy level 8.5.

But they got in the bath naked together.

Yes.

But they kind of...

But that's quite hot. You don't have to... It's like a crescendo build up to the sex eventually.

Do they eventually have sex?

Not that night.

Fine.

Which I'm like, what the fuck?

Yeah. Sounds like she wants him more than he does. But I've never seen the show, but what you're saying, it sounds like she's been bigified by Mr.

Big. So I'm guessing he would have definitely sat with her.

Yeah. They did for his date.

So that's just what she... It sounds like she's a bit broken.

She is a broken person.

She used to slow down.

Yes. And she will whether she likes it or not. But basically that's the end of the episode when like the next day they do sleep together, they joke about it, but Carrie is super happy.

Fine.

But it's interesting.

So this will kickstart the advice to the girls that I do at the end of the show. If Carrie was your gal friend, like you guys are very good friends, and she comes to you and she's like, I'm dating this guy. He's super different to Mr.

Big. I really like him. But every time I throw myself at him, he doesn't pick it up.

Would you be like, maybe he's not that into you?

Yeah, I can get why they'd think that.

Would you say like, maybe let this one go?

No. Not if she liked him.

Okay. So what would your advice be for her?

Like, stick at it. You were naked together in a bathtub. He must like you.

Okay.

She also says when they're about to sleep together, she was like, for the first time in a long time, I was really nervous to sleep with him. Do you also feel that when you wait a bit longer, the stakes are higher?

Yeah. I think the thing is sex always gets better as the relationship goes on. It sounds like it's on her mind more than his.

Yes.

But I don't know his story.

Yeah.

But yeah, the longer it goes on, and then if it's bad sex, then she's going to be left deflated and he's probably going to be in his own head.

Yeah.

Because if you talk about it.

Or get it out of the way early on.

What I would do, like if I was him, I don't know him and I don't know the show.

But if, say if he was nervous, which it sounds like he might be, like you can be a Mr. Nice guy, but you're still a human being. You want to have sex.

I would like probably get a bit tipsy or something. Like take that stress out of it.

Yeah.

And then take the edge off.

All right. I like it. Okay.

Then Charlotte, who's the Waspie conservative one. She will always try to find a husband, but like obviously she's dated for quite some time. Quite a few people hasn't found a husband yet.

So her body count is also mounting because she is dating an investment banker. And like when they have sex for the first time, and he comes, he blurts out, you fucking whore, you fucking slut. And she's like, what the fuck?

And she tells the girls and the girls are like, well, fair, you know, like you've slept with so many people. And she's like, no, I haven't. I was like, well, the numbers are like starting to add up.

And basically we find out that this dude just blacks out when he comes and he just blurts it out.

Okay. So it doesn't actually mean anything.

No, I think it's more about probably him being raised by priests or nuns. Have you ever encountered something of the such?

No.

Okay. What would your advice be for Charlotte?

I mean, it's someone like Charlotte. It sounds like, it's just going to sound so lame. But if she needs to stop looking for love.

Okay.

But chill out.

Yeah.

Stop looking, it will find you.

You know? And also, if you're happily single, I don't think you're ever looking for sex or for love. Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

But if you're trying to chase it, you're going to have loads of one night stands that doesn't go anywhere. And then someone says something like that, you're going to be in your own head about it after that.

Fair. Yeah. I like that because that probably means you didn't feel comfortable enough in his presence for you to be like, that's not about me, that's about him.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay.

Then Samantha, who I haven't mentioned, but like basically, she is the most promiscuous. She has sex with no feelings on her terms and she's a boss bitch. She lives in the Upper East Side in a very conservative building with like doorman, et cetera.

And at one point, she gets a visitor at like two or three in the morning. And right behind him, somebody comes in and like, they bring into one of the other flats and they assault this old woman.

And what they're robbing her.

Yeah. And everybody's like, who would have a visitor at two in the morning?

Samantha was getting a visitor. Yeah.

And then she realizes watching the CCTV, it's like, oh, it's because my guy came in late. He didn't check that somebody was coming behind her.

And basically she decides that she needs to move out of that apartment or building of apartments because they trace her out like she is a witch during the Salem trials. And they're like, it's because of you.

Every time we see you in the elevator, you're sleeping with somebody else. And like there's all different men.

And therefore people can get in at that time.

Yes. What do you think about that? Do you think that it's fair for a community to shame a woman?

No.

OK.

Not at all.

No.

Well, she ends up moving to the meatpacking district and she loves it.

Cooler.

Yeah. Lastly, Miranda, with her chlamydia. Yeah.

What would your advice be to maybe navigate that? With Steve? I guess we'll discuss that, right?

Yeah.

I don't think like if I was going out with a girl.

Yeah.

Like if my girlfriend said to me, I've got chlamydia.

Yeah.

And I've been going out there for six months.

Say this is two months.

Two months. It's still two months. Yeah.

Maybe this is a trust issue point of view. But I'd be like, has she cheated on me? Yeah.

I wouldn't care how many people she'd slept with.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

But I would never... I don't know. I'm not sure if I'm trying to say the right thing.

But if I was going out with a girl, one, I probably have asked how many people have you slept with.

Yeah.

But if it was a big number and I'd loved or liked the girl, I wouldn't walk out.

Why do you ask that question then?

I think in all honesty, and again, not just for the cameras, I think I've asked it in response to someone asking me.

Okay.

I'm like, I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic. Like if I love you, you'll always come before me, which has been the downfall to every relationship I've ever been in.

Sounds like co-dependency.

Yeah, probably. So I've had that one thrown at me so many times. It's good banter, but it's not that you can do no wrong, but I can get past it.

Okay.

But I think my problem is, and this isn't anyone specific, but I suppose you feel a certain way about someone, you can't expect them to feel the same way about you.

Right.

If that makes sense.

That does make sense.

Okay. Great advice, Jake. Thank you so much.

Yeah.

All right.

I think that's it. And anything you want to plug into the show, your socials?

I'd say I'd plug Dorian, but we're full till the end of the year. I'm just getting back into it. I had my social, I used to have an old Instagram account, and my story is quite depressing in a way.

It's not very nice.

Do you want to talk about it?

I don't talk about it a lot, but just a brief overview. I wasn't married, so I don't technically call myself a widow. But I used to go out with a girl in 2019 and she passed away.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, so this is where, when it comes to relationships, if you're going out with someone and they die while you're together, it kind of changes the way you view...

Partnership?

Not partnership, but there's being dumped, there's being cheated on, and then when you go to someone's funeral, it's completely different.

It still hurts just as much. I've been in two relationships since. You break up with them, it's still very painful.

I don't know if it's the right thing, and the reason why I don't talk about it loads is because I worry about what the girls I've been in relationships with since then. I don't want them to feel a certain type of way.

But I don't tolerate a lot of crap. I do when I love someone because that's the relationship. But just back to the social media thing, I used to talk about it a lot.

Because all of a sudden you love someone who's unlovable anymore because they're not here. So I put that outlet into social media and I did a lot of work on mental health and male mental health stuff. I went to rehab.

I did loads of stuff throughout those years. It wasn't pretty for me. But my Instagram got hacked.

Someone was trying to sell cryptocurrency or something. And you know what? It was the nicest thing for me because I just kind of dropped off a little bit.

And now I post my running videos and stuff because it's my passion.

You know that I love the running videos.

And then people message me. I have no followers, but people message me saying I've just gone to the gym now. So it's nice, but I'm not trying to plug anything.

For the first time in such a long time, I'm not going to lie, I went through a breakup not so long ago. Six months ago.

It was a real, real shame, but the first time in my life, and maybe would influence some of my answers to your questions today, I'm happy in my own skin and being on my own.

Okay.

So maybe that's why I'm a little bit relaxed about certain some of those questions.

That's a great place to be. And like grief is horrible. But I don't think somebody becomes unlovable when they pass away.

No, maybe not.

It was so weird. I was watching a guy on Instagram yesterday, I was scrolling in bed, and he's like a really funny guy, younger than me. Well, he's 25, I think 25.

And I was 25 when my girlfriend passed away. I'm 33 now. I must have been a bit older because she died just over six years ago.

But he's touring the world. I'm not saying he's having the best time. I'm sure, I'm six years into grief.

I've learned more than he has in his grief journey, but grief isn't linear. And there's no rule book. It's how you do it.

But I felt a bit like, oh, I don't do that. I should be doing more stuff. I should still be talking about it.

But it's like each to their own. But I say so many things that are wrong. But it's just how I do.

But it's like when it comes to the grief and the unlovable thing, it's like someone's no longer here. It's like, where do you, how I struggled and I was sober at the time.

I'm saying that now drinking a can of beer, but I didn't know how to, what to do with the love. So instead of giving it to her, I just continuously talked about it. Right.

So then you open yourself up to all sorts of stuff. So my social media now is just very much like, my passion is fitness. I'm not chasing anything for the first time ever.

I'm actually trying to like, first time in a long time I'm focusing on work. So if you go through something like that quite early in life, having a big paycheck is not at the top of your list. Because you know, if you die tomorrow, it doesn't matter.

Yeah.

The problem is I went too far the other way.

I was like, I don't care. I went and became a receptionist in a gym. I was a banker and worked for one of the top three management consultants in the world.

And I was like, I'm going to go become a gym receptionist. And everyone was like, why? And I was like, none of it matters.

Whereas now I think I'm coming through the other side. I'm like, you know, do I want a family? I'm not sure.

Do I want to be successful and healthy 100%?

Yeah.

So like I found it. I did do a little talkie and sram posy the other day. And I was like, I found a new found hunger for life.

My sister just had a kid. And I was like, fuck, that's awesome.

Yeah.

So it's like giving me some new fight.

Okay.

So.

Well, if anybody wants to reach out, I'll put your socials. Yeah.

And I have to say for anybody that thinks once you get to a position as dickish as a banking one can be or consultant one can be, and then they feel like in Spain, we say your rings fall off if you take a position below that.

I really don't like those people. I think if anybody is a good person and a good worker, they put everything into every job they do no matter where, no matter at what level.

I'm from a work point of view, I'm the happiest I've ever been doing what I'm doing now, working in a restaurant with fantastic people than I have. And in the city, I've done 10 times as much as I am now.

And I'm like, and I on dates, this is some of my mates sometimes they don't say that because women want a hungry, successful individual. My response to that is I can give a fuck. If you don't like me for me, then sorry.

But I'm stoic towards it now. I'm very much like you don't like me, that's okay.

I'm at that point where somebody is like, oh you shouldn't.

My thing to certain people I've said in the past is, just bear with me, I'm going through some stuff right now. If you just wait, I'm really good at pulling myself out of the shit. I'm like, just wait, I'm going to go on this three months journey.

If you just hang fire, it's going to get a load better. But no one's ever hang fired. So I'm more for you.

All right.

Well, thank you, Jake.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for sharing.

No, thanks for having me on.

All right. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of On Just Like That We Found Therapy. If you loved it, follow the podcast, leave a five star review and send this episode to someone who needs it.

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